Of course the departure of the White Knight makes my decision a trifle easier, but there are many distractions in the Shire...

I am not one to sit idly, staring out of windows, pining for love that has not been lost, only postponed... Any longer. 

There are many an ardent suitor awaiting my fleeting attention, and it is not wrong to flirt slightly, and give them a glimpse of what they are missing... Is it?

My Ladies of the Shire would of course be appalled by my behaviour, though surely they are getting used to it by now! The Duke's sister is unbelievably one of the most sympathetic to my cause, she understands how much I must care for the Captain, how much I long to be with him and how I would never leave his side once we were reunited. However; the Captain and I have at least another six months of waiting to be in each other's arms. Something she can relate to.

Until then, as I search for an artiste worthy of my patronage, I shall enjoy the company of lords and ladies, of gentlemen and duchesses, of nonsensical suitors and their unsuccessful ploys to win my heart.

Indeed, I shall savour the coming winter's antics, for I fear they may possibly be my last as a 'spinster' - for want of a better word.

It is true though, that a strong, successful, attractive woman over a certain age has to have something wrong with her to still be single. It's never the attitude of men that she has been waiting (I shan't say 'saving herself') for the perfect man, rather than accepting a droll second-rate partner. Darlings, I have been single, by choice now for the best part of half a decade. I can assure you, there is nothing wrong with me.



D. S.

From where I'm sitting I can see the Atlantic Ocean and I know that the sun will soon set bringing about the end of the first day of my holiday on the Continent.

There was much fun in the tavern on Sunday evening, though I did end up having to look after Harlequin who was a little bit poorly. (And yes, that is probably the understatement of the year). But considering that it was night number three of various celebrations I think we all did rather well.

Monday evening, however, was a much more formal affair as we attended the end of year Ball.


Everyone made such an effort with their outfits; indeed I do feel that my shoes were rather too high as I may have stumbled more than once, and been referred to as a giant, but no matter, I do like standing out from the crowd!



The Ballroom was inundated with people that I have met over the last three years and it was almost nerve-racking to have so many previous lovers in the same room! But there was no animosity and only friendly catch-ups as we all realised that for many of us it was a final goodbye!


In fact there was a proposition from a gentleman friend that took a lot of effort on my part to decline... But it was probably for the best.


I have my two weeks on the Continent to prepare myself for the farewells that I will have to return to. The thought of not living with the Court Jester truly does bring a lump to my throat! And that so many of my ladies shall still be in the North while I return to the Shire is an unwanted cause for concern, but I suppose it is time to move on.


All I long for now is sleep as my journey to the Continent, although uneventful, started in the wee hours of the morning. And I hardly think I've recovered from the last four nights out on the town! 


So for now I shall love you and leave you while I have a glass of sangria on the balcony and delve into a book that I have chosen to read purely for my own pleasure (no, not Fanny Hill this time!). 





D. S.

I apologise for the length of time it has taken me to inform you of my Northern adventures! The days have slipped by me, and I have already heard plans for February and had to organise my own. I don't understand where the time goes!


However, there is much to discuss from the past fortnight and unfortunately not all of it is pleasing! No doubt you will have noticed the slander that has cropped up after my mention of Fanny Hill. I agree that I might have taken it a little bit too far; I was angry and upset at the time and clearly wasn't thinking straight. I'm not going to deny my intrigue, but with my reputation in tatters I think it is best I leave the romantic literature for those of lesser upbringing. (It is true, Mother has no idea about my behaviour in the North, and I would be dreadfully embarrassed if she were to find out).


There have also been some intriguing advancements with both the Duke and musician. That makes it sound like a military tactic, though I suppose I'm trying to choose wisely; using my head instead of my heart, which frequently makes mistakes, or giving in to my lust which just ends up sullying my reputation.


Nevertheless, I seem to have already made a few mistakes with the musician. Apparently he does not appreciate my candid manner at turning up uninvited to events, and maybe I could do with a more subtle approach, but we should all know by now that that is all a part of my charm! I tried to pop into the library to surprise him with a little gift yesterday, a token of my admiration but he was no where to be found! Was rather surprised as he is normally predictable -  no doubt he is avoiding me - or, it is more likely that he didn't think anything of it for he doesn't care!


The Duke on the other hand has been rather removed from my life, though this lack of contact after the Christmas festivities has actually made me more interested in what he wants from me. Unless of course that is his ploy after all! I sent him a letter, not more than a few days ago, saying I was looking forward to seeing him for his birthday - already planning for the Spring - but I have yet to receive correspondence, though hopefully it will be soon.


I have yet to return to rowing, there seems to be a tension in the air with how much work every has to do, preparations for life it seems, something that I don't apparently need (not that I would heed the notion). 


There are many things to do this weekend; friends to see, cake to sample - the simple pleasures in life! Hopefully going to bump into the musician, although I am not going to make any more of an effort than usual, if it happens, it happens. And maybe the Duke will reply to my letter and distract me! If only.





D. S. 

Ignored by the musician. Unimpressed doesn't even begin to cover it. I am tempted to go on a rampage to prove a point, but that would go against my New Year's Resolutions (which there are many) and I do not want to admit that he is having an impact on my emotions!


I know he is working hard, and unlike me does not appreciate distractions, but I am so angry and hurt and jealous. There are not enough words in the world to describe how I feel right now.


(Later)


I apologise about my rant. I know that I should be able to cope with being ignored; it is not the first time, nor will it be the last and who knows how I even feel about this frustrating musician... Other than God.


Speaking of God, this afternoon has passed while I have perused many books in the library. My most interesting find, for it must be called that, is a romance novel about a young girl called Fanny Hill. I suppose that 'romance novel' is probably the wrong term, and though I didn't manage to read it all I can only imagine what course it took... I found it very interesting, but when I inquired after it to my tutor I received a firm telling off and was made to promise to confess my sins!


Is it wrong that I find this rather amusing? Of course, I am even more intrigued as to the novel, though I have subsequently found out that it is to be banned! And if I am to confess for reading about carnal activity, Lord only knows how a priest would react to my own devious past!


I can see the room where the musician is at work, the door is ajar and my heart is beating subtly faster, but I daren't make my presence known. I refuse to fawn over any man.





D. S.