As always I have no idea where to start... Other than the beginning, but that in itself is a rather tricky situation. Where even is the beginning?

I have just journeyed back from the tropical delights of the Kingdom of Siam, and am suffering from a a serious case of withdrawal. I travelled on my own, learning to love myself once again, and indeed discovering that my normally rather cold and calculated demeanour, melted away under the blazing sun and I am ready to try and care about other people. 

Of course I have always cared about my friends and my family, that goes without question, but my apprehension is more towards opening up to other people, allowing them to get to know me a little more intimately, rather than accepting me for the more brusque and brash personality that I am known for. It's a wonderous feeling to be so alone in another country where I do not know the traditions, culture or the language. It is truly eye-opening to discover how much I do not know about the world. It is humbling to be accepted by strangers with a wide smile and kind offer of hospitality. 

There were sights I will never forget: fish the size of my body leaping out of the water, flying towards large pieces of bread thrown from bridges and decks on the shore; lizards lazing in the sun on low-hanging trees, their scaly tails taut against the branches in the wind; palaces of gold and silver, diamonds glistening at every turn; statues towering over the throngs of people that crowded around them in search of some good fortune.


I have so much love and respect for the Kingdom of Siam, it was stunningly beautiful in parts - the river, the palaces and temples; the places of worship - both spiritual and material - yet they were contrasting in a painfully obvious, yet ignored way, with the squalor of wooden huts and corrugated metal houses that were hidden in plain sight, overshadowed by the grandeur of the architecture. It was an enlightening place to visit, and I know that the three days I had there weren't enough to do the city justice. I'm sure I shall find it in me to travel there again at some point in the future. 

The monks were something to behold, their robes of orange clashing brilliantly with the hue of the city, but more than that, they held themselves with such a poise that they were revered from across the street. Furtive glances were kept low out of respect and yet the monks had a look of serenity upon each of their faces. I was entranced by their very presence, even more so when I saw them out of context, beside the markets and peddlars rather than contemplating life beneath a fresco of their beloved Buddha. I still have so much to learn.

D. S.

To be a patron and wage that sort of power... Well it comes with a hefty amount of responsibility!

I have yet to take my new found role seriously and I have asked Father for a few weeks respite before searching for an artiste worthy of my name. In doing so I have returned to the hazy hedonistic friendships from the Northern Counties. Harlequin dared to visit my Shire and scuttled me away to a Southern fiesta that house all sorts of pagans and druids - none of which the likes before I had seen! It was magical, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but it is safe to say that I did not quite fit it!

Belle and my wonderful Irish Lady of Corcaigh have left me with the promise of a visit to their homes... I can't wait to make that journey across the Irish sea! Belle has yet to say anything about her month of silence, but I too have failed to ask any poignant questions. Is it wrong of me to expect her to tell me in her own time?

I cannot fathom this unexpected feeling of loss I have after the end of the Convent! I enjoyed my time there, though at times it was fraught, but I never thought I'd long to go back! Hopefully this next fortnight keeps me occupied and my thoughts stray away from the Convent and the priest!

The Captain, at long last, has been told about my future here in the Shire; 12,000 miles away from the Antipodes and away from his arms. He has yet to respond to the extended time between us and I constantly question how we are to fare if fate is against us??

The White Knight has sent his final letter before delving into the world of the unknown. I cannot believe I have two months to wait until I hear from him again. I promised to write to him, knowing that he can hear from me will make the time go more smoothly for him, even if I have to wait in the dark.

Soon I will have to be more responsible, and I look forward to the challenge, but until then I shall flourish doing what I do best!



D. S.

Good morning my darlings. A very early Sunday morning to wake up to, but I still have a smile spread across my lips and it is only fair that I share my good fortune with the rest of you.


I have inadvertently been courted from afar by two different suitors; one of which already lays a claim to my heart but the other, well he is adamant that before the year is out I shall be smitten!


The Captain has written me often, telling me of the life he leads in the Antipodes, his own journeys and how his life is no longer the same without me there to mess with his head and toy with his heart strings. He sounds full of regret for his prolonged grievance towards me, wishing he had forgiven me earlier... The Captain's words are all I've wanted to hear for so long that I treasure each and everyone, discreetly planning my return.


However, there are distractions at home! Even though I have been put under lock and key at the Convent, it seems that I may be in contact with certain sinners. The White Knight has made his intentions crystal clear, he has courted me with a fervour that rivals none, the intensity of which is somewhat daunting.

Of course I blush with the sin of pride at the thought of these two men wanting me, and it worries me to a certain degree that the White Knight is tantalisingly close, whereas the Captain is still on the other side of the world... What makes the White Knight's presence more pleasurable is my Mother's ignorance this time round. It is more flattering to be wanted because of you, rather than because of your connections.


The nun has been missing her child greatly, getting almost daily reports from the Doctor who lives down on the Coast, but even through her pain she has been a great comfort to me. The priest on the other hand has kept his head down of late; fewer judgemental looks and he no longer chastises me in public, rather keeping his admonishments to the privacy of the cloisters...


It is nearly the start of a new month, and only a few weeks more do I have at the Convent... Who knows what will happen next, but truly life is more than wonderful today.





D. S.

The heart knows no pain like an unrequited love... Something I know only too well after my ever dwindling relationship with the musician. It is a quote I hear oft spoken by the Baroness, whose feelings about unrequited love bring a tear to her blue eyes, and cause her to choke back her own heart break.


Fortunately, I have a heart of stone, and though I sometimes beg to differ with my emotional attachments, I know too well that love is not something I have dabbled with too deeply. Or at least I hope that my unrequited feelings are not all that I'll ever know.

Unsurprisingly, I have not turned over a new leaf, and the last few days have continued with the summer haze of champagne, friends and dancing. I'm making the most of my time here in the Shire before my hasty departure to a foreign land. It saddens me to think of all that I'll be leaving behind, but it truly does feel like the beginning of an adventure! And maybe, in this unnamed land I'll find the love that I crave!


My quarrel with the priest has made me think more about my actions; I rarely consider the consequences but as long as I and my friends are happy I see no harm in a bit of raucous debauchery! The lack of my presence at the Church has been noted, but I have made acceptable excuses (I think) for now, and besides, there is only one Sunday left between now and my departure date!


I am planning to visit the Court Jester in the North before I leave. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if anything happened on my journey and I wasn't able to say goodbye or express my gratitude for his friendship. No doubt I will see Belle on my return, though I'll try and keep it a surprise until then, and maybe even Lady Lina and the Brewer!


The Gameskeeper, on the other hand, has proceeded to this unnamed country before me, but I know that we shall meet in due course. I look forward to it greatly, and to see my Aunts and Uncles and indeed, my Nana.


Until then I have to start thinking about packing and what is necessary on such a long trip. Apparently by travelling to the Southern hemisphere I am going back to Summer so shall not need coats or scarves. I do hope nothing unsavoury occurs between now and then, though I don't doubt something will arrive!





D. S.

Maybe a confession wasn't the wisest of decisions, but with hindsight I can lament the misdemeanor.

The priest, though it is a title he does not deserve, has scorned me in public, ruining my reputation and forsaking his own promises to God by breaking the seal of confession. I told him all the usual sins and, in a roundabout way, my slightly more deplorable transgressions, though in no detail, and he dared to oust me from the confessional and make an example of me! I was furious and humiliated, but I refuse to let a petty priest have that sort of effect on my life. I shall no longer attend Mass where he preaches and I look forward to my Southern hemisphere travels that will take me far away from his hypocrisy.



I don't even have the time to dwell on the priest for this week has been ever so hectic; I am trying to fit in various visits with all my wonderful friends before I leave for my Grande Tour.


The Duchess of Tuthershire welcomed me to her home with open arms and I cannot fault her hospitality. It was delightful to see her in her natural habitat surrounded by friends and family, and it truly cheered my heart to catch up after so many months.


Another Northern lovely that I managed to coax South was the ever exquisite Belle who was horrified at the prospect of me leaving without saying a proper farewell. I don't think it had entirely sunk in that I really have left the North. The last three years have been incredible and it pains me, knowing that I am not going to be returning any time soon.


Before I get too nostalgic and wander off into the land of dreams, I have to mention the secret suitor, the White Knight, that Mother had kept hidden from me these past few weeks...


I have finally had the pleasure of his company; conversing that soon led to kissing. But alas, the White Knight is true to his name and shall be leaving for battle, far too soon for me to even comprehend what could have been. So as I begin to organise my belongings for my own journey, I think about the different paths each and every one of us takes every day without even realising. It had never before occurred to me to live or travel abroad, but here I am, arrangements have been made, and only two weeks until I depart!





D. S.

The last few days have had their peaks and troughs with disappointments and opportunities seized.


Armiger failed to take me to the aforementioned Ball and I am still pouting about the non-adventure. Secondly, this resulted in some misbehaviour over the weekend and as a punishment Mother refused to introduce me to the latest suitor. I thought that I wouldn't care and appreciate the time to wallow in self-pity, but it seems that my curiosity had been piqued and I wanted to see what eligible bachelor had met my Mother's approval.

But no such luck.

On a more positive note I have become a dab hand in the kitchen at making truffles. They are a wonderfully rich dessert and I have been experimenting with different flavours and textures. It gives me something to do while everyone else is enjoying life and I am trapped at home. 


I know I'm being melodramatic, but that's the whole point.


Yet tomorrow I acquire freedom! To see the nun whose friendship I value ever so highly, brings a smile to my face. Although I shall only venture to the Coast for a few days I know that we will have much to talk about (the priest) and some beautiful songs to play on the harpsichord. Truly, I have been looking forward to this journey for weeks now! I doubt that I'll meet anyone new though... For how can a nun socialise acceptably?!


Speaking of socialising, I did accidentally bump into an old acquaintance... The Peacock gentleman must have been doing the rounds for he raised his plumage when I saw him walk through the gardens. We shared the obligatory flirtations, but nothing untoward occurred; I was, at this stage, still expecting to meet my Mother's advocate. But now that I have been excused, refused and abandoned (or at least that's how I feel) I might create some havoc... When I've returned from the Coast that is.





D. S.