To think we are on the cusp of winter and it is still warm enough not to wear fur in the day time! It is a stark contrast to the Bohemian winter I endured last year, when the snows were already threatening and the days themselves were grey and dark.

It is a time for seeing old friends as the end of the year creeps upon us, and I had the wonderful pleasure of the Duchess of Tuthershire this past weekend. It is always a pleasure to see her, we laugh and chatter like no time has passed, and it is a delightful feeling to know that some friendships are forever.

She kept me up to date with her life in the Capital, and we gossiped about our last night out together where we made a secret cellar our home for the evening. She talks about her need to travel, with which I can completely sympathise, though she doesn't have the responsibilities that I do to tie her down ~I must admit I am a little envious, for there was a time when the world was my oyster...

Do not think I am discouraged in my own endeavours! I still adore my position as Lady-in-Waiting and the home that the Duke and I have built together. I don't think I will ever 'grow out' of my need to explore, my wanderlust.

Speaking of journeys, Christmas is still the talk of the household. Of course the servants want to know if they have to prepare for the Duke's family to come here from Bohemia, or if the Duke and I are to return to the Shire, or indeed if we are to go further afield to the Sub-Saharan plains.

I'm afraid I still cannot answer this question for there are too many variables to take into account, but no doubt all will be decided at the last minute. Thankfully it is not I (for a change) who is holding up the decision-making-process, for I have cast my vote for Africa. I want to go back after all these years. I want to feel the red soil and yellow grass beneath my feet and listen to the vastness.

It has been long enough.



D. S.

Can you believe where I am darlings, after all these years? The place where my story began. Somewhere that holds dear memories and most of my regrets. The place where I made the firmest of friends and learnt heartbreak. Somewhere I cultivated my interests and aimed a little higher. The place up north that I have longed to once more call my home.

I'm back.

Nevertheless, it's a little different this time round... I have the Duke of Albany on my arm for one. There was a time when no less than two men would have kept my ravenous appetite at bay, but now all my extra-curricular activities are more than satisfying, and I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I have had my wild and rebellious way with the world and though I did not lose that battle, I will admit defeat. I no longer want to stay up all hours of the night only to wake with a head that burns with the aftermath of lust and gluttony. I have grown, and it is only wonderful to see my old home with new eyes. 

Of course it has changed, haven't we all over the years? I do not have the Court Jester to listen to my heartache, or the Duchess of Tuthershire to drink red wine with. There is no Lady Lina to remind me of my mistakes or Harlequin to guide the attention his way. Nor do I have the musician, the Brewer and the Gameskeeper, that wonderful trio whom I miss sorely. I shall have to have them all to visit, but when I do not know, for my position begins in four days!

Thankfully I do still have the wonderful Coxswain and her gentleman. They have not left the shores of the Northern counties and I look forward immensely to reacquainting myself with them. And of course, how could I forget my darling Belle. She was half the reason I applied to return to this side of the world. It will be like old times and I cannot wait to listen to her words of wisdom.

Living with the Duke is, in itself, rather daunting. Our personalities clash and we are far too independent to easily fit into one another's lives. For example, I like to have my evening meal rather late, however he is used to having dinner two or three hours earlier. Compromises are rife, though the internal battles I don't doubt are more so. In some ways it feels like we have lived under the same roof for all our lives, but in other ways I'd love nothing more than to push him down the stairs! But I cannot deny my happiness, with every step I want to thank the world I live in for my happiness. I feel so blessed.

To new beginnings and a return to a county that stole my heart all those years ago.



D. S.

Oh the Capital! What an extraordinary place. Every time I venture to London town I remember my love for it and always rediscover a new found respect for the city.

It was unbelievably glorious to rendez vous with the Duchess of Tuthershire. She has not changed in the slightest and it wasn't long before we were drinking red wine and reminiscing of the past we have shared. The evening was shared with the most dramatic and entertaining of the Capital's performers and I was delighted by the sights, sounds and smells I was privy to. I would highly recommend anyone with a taste for the wild to venture down to the cellar where the Duchess of Tuthershire and I whiled away many hours.

The day was spent in the sunshine with the Duchess of Tuthershire and her other half. We experienced some of the more cultured sights and sounds than the previous night (which were of a more debauched nature) but all in all I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the Capital and hope to venture there once more before I return to the Northern counties.

The Duke of Albany has not yet given his decision about whether he will or will not follow me up North and we both wait tentatively for one more week before I force an answer out of him. Nevertheless, he has made rather unsubtle hints, and I hope my silent optimism is not soaring for no reason. I adore being in his company and though we bicker, the absolution we grant each other is full of passion. So much so that it almost makes the arguments seem worth it...

I look forward to the Summer immensely when I shall have the company of Belle and the Irish Lady of Corcaigh. Our new years eve soiree made such an impact, and it delighted me to have my nearest and dearest around at all times. This Summer shall be the greatest (or so I hope) and I long to feel the sun on my back.

A few days is all I have left in the Shire before I return to Bohemia. The Duke has promised to follow in my footsteps and it warms my heart to think I will see him for the Valentine's weekend, if not the actual day.

I hope and pray that everyone I care about can experience the same love and affection the Duke and I have for each other ~ though I know not to say that out loud for fear of sounding arrogant and sanctimonious!



D. S. 

I hope I can be forgiven. I know I said that travel and writing are at the forefront of my mind and my ambitions, but love has taken me along a more scenic route and I am once again back in my glorious Shire in the arms of my Duke of Albany. It is only because of the holidays in Bohemia that I have the time to cross the Continent and it is so worth it.

The Duke has been playing an interesting game here in the Shire. He is winning over my friends and family, making a name for himself. He has an entrepreneurial spirit and uses his position, my reputation and our combined knowledge to his full advantage. 

We have finally broached the subject of my inevitable move North to be a Lady-in-Waiting to a Royal charge, whether or not he will join me, and under what terms. 

It seems he is keen to stay in England. The Duke of Albany may have a dynasty of his own in Bohemia and that is of course where his main responsibilities lie, but he has the fortune of cousins, aunts and uncles at his disposal. All of whom are more than capable of taking care of his duties, and willing too, mainly to keep their beloved Duke happy.

He was not surprised by the question I asked, and I know he enjoyed torturing me as I struggled to find the words to ask this man to move his entire life across land and sea, for me. The Duke has not given me a decision, but I did ask him to give it careful consideration. Who knows what scandals may erupt as we are not betrothed and I do not have the same ability to ignore gossip and hurtful jibes that I once did. 

Nevertheless, I do not want us to have to bend to the iron will of convention. For now, an equal appreciation of our carnal appetites and whispered nothings are all that I can hope for with this Duke. We have come so far since our first meeting when he disguised his true self from me, and though neither of us are afraid to speak our minds and we still have some rather volatile arguments, our relationship is built on a firm understanding of one another. There are no expectations, despite the love we have allowed ourselves to feel for one another. 

The Duke of Albany has until Valentine's Day to make up his mind. I shall be long gone by then and in the safety of distance can I hear the words he has not yet said. Oh Valentine's day. How the years have changed how I feel every time this day occurs. I still wish I was as young and carefree as the days I would write inspirational notes to the masses.

To give the Duke some time to think I am off to visit the Duchess of Tuthershire in the Capital. It has been nearly two years since we last laid eyes on each other and I can't believe either of us allowed that to happen! I am so looking forward to an evening of red wine and gossip, like we used to. It really is the little things in life that make me so happy.



D. S.

Darlings all the best wishes for Valentines day; the day that revolves around love, yet often leaves a bitter taste in many mouths.

I cannot admit to falling into the latter category, for I wear the largest grin on my face, and cannot conceal the happiness I feel. As I write I can see the blonde Esquire's muscular back, rippled in the evening glow, as he prepares a meal for the two of us to share. No doubt his Mother expects a proposal in the pipeline, however we are taking this faux relationship slowly - it has to be all the more believable when then inevitable end draws nigh.

However, true to his cause, the blonde Esquire has showered me with attention, love and jewellery! Not the order of importance, I promise! How can a girl who delights in diamonds ignore the one that now hangs around her neck without a smile on her face? Shallow? Undeniably. But the gift came from one who has become very dear to me. Even though our relationship is a sham, I can feel a firm friendship between the blonde Esquire and myself. There are no secrets, there are no boundaries; we do not need to bow to social convention as we have the freedom to breathe together.


Our relationship has grown out of a mutual truce and curiosity, and developed into the utmost respect while sating our more carnal desires. There is no intense passion, but rather an ease that ends in our laughing as we lie naked between the sheets.

Valentine's day always causes a few reminiscent thoughts to stray into the foray of my mind; turning back the clocks two years, I remember sitting in the library and writing anonymous love notes and leaving them in the library for anyone to find...  Oh my northern life! How it has disappeared into a vague memory in the grand scheme of life. Of course I miss it, but I know deep down it is the Court Jester, the musician, the Gameskeeper and Duchess of Tuthershire that I miss the most.

But today I shall quite happily make do with the blonde Esquire worshipping my every move. He does not claim to love me, we are undeniably keeping within our contract in order to ensnare his Mother in his attempt to court me. We are young, are allowed to have fun and play within the realms of the rules.



D. S.

It's difficult to brave the ever-obvious distance between the Captain and myself, when not only are there reams of distractions and temptations, but the Captain often fails to correspond accordingly! It has been over a week since his last admission of love and my last declaration has all but been ignored! I cannot help but worry that, maybe, just possibly some other Lady has caught his eye...

I cannot bare my own hypocrisy, especially as the day of the White Knight's return draws nearer, but I also cannot begin to fathom as to why I have been neglected. Never have I failed to respond in the correct fashion to the Captain, but here I am, waiting. Waiting for a love that may or may not last the distance and the time.

Speaking of which, I cannot believe that it was a year ago today that I arrived in the Antipodes! How time does fly! Of course this has made me somewhat crabby as I think about the responsibilities I have ahead of me, but also too does it remind me that life is worth living. That there is nothing better than to take chances and not regret any of your past mistakes!

In other news, (before I get too nostalgic) I had a wonderful weekend with the best of my Ladies. I could have sworn there was a member of royalty in disguise accompanying our party, but it is always best to ignore the questions you want to ask; for what if it were untrue and I looked silly asking a personal and private question? Or indeed, what if it WERE true... I do not think any of our princesses would forgive me lightly!

The weekend has been a success, with much drinking and merriment, however I am beginning to suffer with the dropping temperatures. Winter is coming and I'm not sure I have a suitable wardrobe to put to use... I may have to venture to the Capital and see the Duchess of Tuthershire and make use of her seamstress!

I don't know what to think about the Captain and the White Knight. They are both so different and each of them offer vastly incomparable futures... I know my heart still resides in the Captain's bosom, but what of his silence? If his feelings are dwindling is it not wise to acquiesce sooner rather than later and be content with the White Knight (whom I do care about greatly)? 

I fear that this long distance is more likely to break the Captain and I, and then, if it does, I don't know where the Antipodes may stand for me... Let's hope and pray that the Captain has not forgotten me, that I have only lapsed in his mind for a moment as he is busy preparing a life for the two of us together... Let us hope.



D. S. 

To think that over a week has passed me by with little to no thought of my writing! Never before has life taken hold of me with such vigour that my writing has come second-best! 

The Capital, a carnival, the Duchess of Tuthershire, Armiger, and many more of their retinue made the long weekend more than I could have imagined!

It started off as a rather sensible affair until large quantities of drink were drunk in the Shire... An impromptu visit to the Capital seemed the only option and it was truly wonderful. The carnival was filled with people from all over the world; an all-singing, all-dancing affair with the utmost merriment. 

Of course such a parade of worldwide renown would attract many people, and I had the absolute pleasure of a fortuitous meeting with a former rower from my days in the Northern county! The contingency made me smile, and the rower couldn't believe that we'd managed to spot each other through the crowds. An ash tree shaded us as we spoke, and we promised to make contact next time I was in the Capital.

Needless to say I had an absolute ball, and was more than a little disappointed to return to the Shire. Yet life moves on, and at the start of next week I have to take my duties as a Patroness a little more seriously!

However much I complain the Shire does feel like home, yet I cannot lie to myself. I am waiting for the day I can return to the arms of my Captain and travel back to the Antipodes!

We correspond nearly every day and my thoughts are constantly of him. At long last I feel confident in his own feelings for me, but how long can I expect him to wait while I struggle to find an artiste worthy of my patronage?

Indeed the dilemma seems to be a constant one, and only yesterday Mother confronted me about why I was so determined to return to the Antipodes... Before I could think of a worthwhile excuse she asked point blank if it was for the Captain.

I was certainly stunned into a silence! I have not been shy about my feelings for the Captain, however I thought Mother would have been too distracted by my cavorting with the White Knight to remember my younger lover. But astute as ever, Mother knows best... She did not condemn the relationship, to my utmost relief, but she was wary of following my heart 12,000 miles away from home.

Even after tonight, a delightful evening with my Ladies and Armiger, with the people I am most comfortable with and whom I am most honest with... I couldn't but help let my thoughts stray to the Captain, every waking, sleeping moment he occupies my heart and I cannot let distance be the better of us! I just can't.



D. S.

Another week has blurred past, though there are a few aspects that stand out... 


I visited Armiger in the City of Dreaming Spires and met some of his delightful friends. It was brilliant to catch up with him, it had been far too long and of course he was curious about my time in the Antipodes. I didn't even know where to begin, but it seemed that all I could talk about was the Captain. Indeed, a friend of Armiger's seemed most intrigued about the love-affair; asking poignant questions and giving me a few words of advice.


She was most adamant that I should heed the Captain's words and go back to the Antipodes if I could see a future with him. I do see a future with him, but who am I to choose how his life should pan out? He is too young to be making life-changing decisions, and that sort of commitment shouldn't be pressured by the distance we would still have to endure.


There is nothing I want more than to return to the country where I left my heart, for it truly felt more like home than this country. I do not begrudge the time I have spent in the Shire; this place has molded me into the person I am, but the Antipodes brought out the best in me... (And momentarily, the worst). But it was the Captain that made me see who it was that I wanted, and still want, to be.


Travelling seems to take up most of my time, for I journeyed to the Northern counties in the hope of seeing some close friends. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Rosinda was still accounted for and even more overwhelmed when the Duchess of Tuthershire made an appearance! We laughed and danced and compared notes about our travels, for she has just returned from a Grande Tour around the Eastern continents! I am most impressed with her stories, and relieved that nothing untoward happened while she did some soul searching.

She asked more about the Scottish laird than the Captain, for I think she is less than enamored with someone who could have put me through so much pain, but alas, there is very little to report so far. The Scottish laird has been rather quiet of late, and though I know he has a lot to attend to, I dislike feeling so neglected. I think all this talk of travel has made me somewhat nostalgic. I miss being in another country, I miss the brunette and our obsession with the beaches, I miss the off-chance of bumping into the Captain...


I do love being home, I love seeing everybody and I have never felt more loved by my friends. But this philial love is not enough. I want to be consumed by passion, I want to feel whole again.


But how can I when he is twelve thousand miles away?





D. S.

Maybe a confession wasn't the wisest of decisions, but with hindsight I can lament the misdemeanor.

The priest, though it is a title he does not deserve, has scorned me in public, ruining my reputation and forsaking his own promises to God by breaking the seal of confession. I told him all the usual sins and, in a roundabout way, my slightly more deplorable transgressions, though in no detail, and he dared to oust me from the confessional and make an example of me! I was furious and humiliated, but I refuse to let a petty priest have that sort of effect on my life. I shall no longer attend Mass where he preaches and I look forward to my Southern hemisphere travels that will take me far away from his hypocrisy.



I don't even have the time to dwell on the priest for this week has been ever so hectic; I am trying to fit in various visits with all my wonderful friends before I leave for my Grande Tour.


The Duchess of Tuthershire welcomed me to her home with open arms and I cannot fault her hospitality. It was delightful to see her in her natural habitat surrounded by friends and family, and it truly cheered my heart to catch up after so many months.


Another Northern lovely that I managed to coax South was the ever exquisite Belle who was horrified at the prospect of me leaving without saying a proper farewell. I don't think it had entirely sunk in that I really have left the North. The last three years have been incredible and it pains me, knowing that I am not going to be returning any time soon.


Before I get too nostalgic and wander off into the land of dreams, I have to mention the secret suitor, the White Knight, that Mother had kept hidden from me these past few weeks...


I have finally had the pleasure of his company; conversing that soon led to kissing. But alas, the White Knight is true to his name and shall be leaving for battle, far too soon for me to even comprehend what could have been. So as I begin to organise my belongings for my own journey, I think about the different paths each and every one of us takes every day without even realising. It had never before occurred to me to live or travel abroad, but here I am, arrangements have been made, and only two weeks until I depart!





D. S.

The ever-inevitable end has arrived and I have to admit it really hasn't sunk in.


A short post is all that I have to offer with the headache that is raging around my skull, but doused in nostalgia it shall not be. At least not yet. For then that would be admitting to the end.


The musician, Brewer and Gameskeeper left without so much as a goodbye, and I think I almost preferred that as it makes it seem less real. Though there is the lingering question as to when I'll next seem them again... Belle and I, however, have said our goodbyes but only for a short while until August, whereas the coxswain and Court Jester have me for a few more days.


It has been quite a rude awakening to discover that I now have no purpose, but to my travels I shall dedicate the next few weeks. Until then I shall party the nights away and truly appreciate the time I have for slumber. Today being one of those days seeing as the evening was spent with the Duchess of Tuthershire and other dear friends in what one could only call a rambunctious affair! Everyone will be sorely missed but I do hope to continue with this very frivolous theme and see as much of people as I can before we all depart. 


Again to rest, for my head is feeling rather fuzzy and I want to be on form for tonight, and of course there is also tomorrow's ball! My mind is in quite a tizzy with all these events but I shall prosper and enjoy every minute of it. 





D. S.

It seems I need to explain my departure from the North for there have been a fair many questions regarding the matter.


The Shire is my home and to it I will always return. The North has been my temporary haven while I study and become a (more) graceful and elegant lady of the realm. It was never my intention to stay in the North for as long as I have, and yes if given a choice I would continue to oscillate between the two, but the choice is not mine to make. 


There is no need to fret, however, for I have many a reunion planned and it will take more than the whims of my parents to keep me from the dear friends I have made here in the North. 


But even more exciting are my plans to travel. 

I have my trip to the Continent next week (someone remind me to organise packing) but I want to voyage further afield, hopefully setting foot on uncultivated land where the uncivilised roam! The entire journey will take much preparation, not to mention the coaxing of companions and the persuasion of the parents, but I am determined to see the world before responsibilities start to take their toll!

The Duchess of Tuthershire's talks of her own imminent travels have whet my tongue for unknown tastes and experiences and I do hope to reconvene our friendship at a later date and a more exotic location. We had such a wonderful evening the other night, and realised how much we had missed each other over the years; she is like the sister I never had. I pray for some unforgettable memories while we travel the world together, however briefly.

I do not want to reminisce any more than I have to for it is all we are currently doing. It is far too apparent that the end of an era is nigh so we have regressed to talk about our first days together and those are so special to me that I don't want to write them down.

June is my buffer month before my life completely changes and I return to live in the Shire. I have my trip to the Continent and ceaseless parties to attend... Further into the future I cannot see, and yet it seems I have once again returned to the same question. What next? 

D. S.

The Duchess of Tuthershire and I have acquired a penchant for drinking red wine until the early hours of the morn. It is quite unruly of us but her station as a married woman gives her more independence than I had imagined...


I have had one of the busiest weeks in memory, not since my life was scheduled beyond belief in my younger years have there been so many things to do and people to see!


My dear Duchess introduced me to some ladies of craft; a jeweller and a designer whose exquisite wares are tantalising. I long to purchase a few items for my own but have already far exceeded May's budget... I'm hoping upon my return from the Continent to have redeemed this situation and to spend as frivolously as I know how!


I ended up devoting my time to their fashions, being guided through the rigmarole behind the fabrics by their darling assistant. I do have to admit that I felt quite ignorant by comparison, they both had an exemplary combination of creativity and management - it was rather daunting to be in the presence of that much skill and talent!


The highlight of the week, though, would have to be the races and the fashion show that I attended yesterday. Everyone knows how I love to be the centre of attention, but aiding the fashion show kept my mind occupied from peripheral thoughts as I concentrated on the task at hand. The entire night was a roaring success and I can't thank the Duchess enough for introducing me to those two wonderful ladies. It proved the perfect distraction from my ever looming departure and the goodbyes that I'm going to have to say to my dear friends.


I've tried to spend as much time as possible with the musician, Brewer, Gameskeeper and Belle as is possible - we did have a brilliant night together only two moons before, but I get this unpleasant feeling at the back of my throat that our days together are numbered. I note the pessimism in my tone and blame the lack of sleep, but it is getting most difficult to put such thoughts from my mind. 


What is it that the future holds for us? I'd give anything to know...

D. S.

Wondrous days, it seems that Spring has at long last returned!


I only start to talk about the weather for I have begun rummaging through my belongings, trying to decide what is suitable for my trip to the Continent. The Duke talks about the heat and humidity becoming unbearable, but I long for sunshine. Today however, my dear England has granted the pleasure of the sun's rays upon my face.


The weekend was awash with rain, but that did not halt my desire for lavish amusements. I felt the need to throw a small party and was delighted to have the presence of one who equals my title. The Duchess of Tuthershire enraptured her willing audience from the moment her bejewelled clad foot stepped into the hall. It was an entrance to invoke envy, only to quell at the sight of her smile, a sight that has been upon everybody's lips ever since.

I look forward to future reunions as we have not laid eyes on each other since we were but babes in arms. A familial dispute arose about a decade passed and since then our friendship has been forgotten - or so I thought! But it seems that with her recent marriage, the Duchess of Tuthershire has gained freedom, and has used her influential marriage to regain the trust of my parents, at no cost of her own!


We spent many an hour catching up on the last few years but still that wasn't long enough. Days worth of entertainment and frivolity have been organised in the hope that we can close the rift that was forced between us, and so far the venture has been a success. She is a far wiser woman than I will ever be, though she claims it is her marriage that has helped her fully mature.


This of course gets me thinking about marriage, about the future, about my impending departure from the North and my thoughts spiral beyond my control and it takes all that I can muster to pull myself out of bed! I fear I'm being a little melodramatic, but the thought of leaving the Court Jester, the Brewer, Gameskeeper, musician, Belle, the coxswain... Well... It doesn't bear thinking about. 





D. S.