It has just occurred to me that in being here over a month, the White Knight has failed to respond to my letter imploring him to keep in contact. How rude.


There is not much I can do to scorn him; I could not avoid his presence more keenly than by staying twelve thousand miles away, here in the Antipodes, but I am stung slightly, by his arrogance in believing he could ignore me!


At least I have found refuge in the no-longer-anonymous woman's company. We laugh merrily about the sticky situation we got ourselves into at the Manor party and how we survived the scandal, even though the three of us were walked in on. We  ponder as to what has become of the third member of our ménage à trois, and delight in the memories as we tease each other; neither of us quite brave enough to make the first move.


I sound besotted, and though I am intrigued by her passion and content in her presence, I do not crave her approval nor pine for her when we are not together. It is not a desire like one I had for the musician or Head Architect, it is far more comfortable and I suppose that comes from us both being women and understanding our own needs... I'm sure Marie Antoinette would understand.


In two days time I shall have my rendez vous with the masked guest. I am to be wined and dined in the city and I cannot wait, for the countryside has it's beauty but there are few distractions so enticing as the city.


My labouring too, takes me into the city and I have seen places that I didn't even realised existed. Working in fashion has truly opened my eyes, and I feel embarrassed to think how ignorant I was before I'd laid a finger on a piece of cloth that wasn't already stitched and sewn into life. My no-longer-anonymous woman doesn't approve of my work, she is of too high a class to appreciate the skill of craft, and though she is not even a Duchess, she has no want to learn, whereas I crave an understanding of everything that I do not know. I appease her by attending soirées and garden parties, but they hold very little meaning here in the Antipodes, especially if I think of the raucously civilised events held by my dearest friends...

And with that, I must remember to respond to their letters accordingly. There is much to tell them and even more to ask.





D. S.

I had the pleasure  of the Baroness and Marquessa along with the dearest of Ladies on Tuesday when we took a venture to visit a neighbouring castle.


They cheered me up immensely, and it wasn't long before the five of us were laughing at nothing in particular, each of us ignoring the fact that it would be the last time we were all together until the following year.

The Baroness, in her infinite wisdom, managed to part with a few pearls of her own, letting me know that I wouldn't be forgotten while I was a way, and I had the opportunity to start afresh. Something that I hadn't really considered before.


Of course she is correct, I have never known her to be otherwise, but it is helping me look to my departure with optimism. My mind constantly changes as to whether or not I am making a mistake. I want to see my family, my Nana, for it has been far too long, but will I ever return to my darling Shire?


I have scorned the countryside from whence I came in comparison to the livelier Northern cities that I have grown to love, but it is home. Even the most perpetual of characters are endearing, the Peacock gentleman making yet another appearance in my life, and even more remarkable an absence of note from the White Knight.


I haven't a clue what to expect on my journey afar, I only know that I have yet more goodbyes to say with my brief return to the North tomorrow, and I pray I find the courage to make the leap and leave with a smile on my face.


I cannot wait to see the Gameskeeper abroad; I know he will put a stop to any discouragements I voice, and Belle will no doubt have some token of her affection for me to take to her beloved.


To think I was enamoured with the Head Architect this time last year, how times have changed. I hope I do my parents proud on the other side of the world.





D. S.

Shrove Tuesday and a Royal holiday all in one day! Definitely looking forward to the celebrations this evening, no doubt there will be much merriment and drinking in honour of the Queen's birthday. I almost wish I was at court to join in with the Royal games but I sent many gifts to show my respect and love for the Queen and hopefully will attend the Summer games later in the year.

Surprisingly I did not spend the entire weekend with the musician, Gameskeeper, Brewer or indeed Belle! Instead I went to a party and was more than shocked to bump into none other than the Head Architect! I could not believe it and gave the host a berating for not failing to give me notice as to who the guests would be. At first I did not know how to act; ignore him for our last meeting was brief and cold or humiliate him in front of his friends? Of course I did not want to give the impression that his desertion troubled me to any extent but I was shaken by his reappearance. 


The second surprise of the evening was the note I received from the Head Architect requesting a private meeting. I declined. He sought me out. We talked. He has returned to Brighton. I'm not sure if there is any more to say on the matter, but do not be astonished if his apparitions become a slightly more frequent occurrence. 


I have not seen the Captain since the previous weekend but did have a lovely evening with the coxswain, Number 5 and the Court Jester last night. We talked for hours drinking wine. It is so very satisfactory having such close friends. The coxswain is far more entertaining that she gets credit for! We dressed up for the men in silly outfits, both of us inspiring each other for our different disguises. It is startling how similar our situations are. 


I disguise myself for the musician in order to spend time with him outside of our usual contact hours as does she.


She whiles away the hours with only men, far exceeding propriety, as do I.


We both enjoy a tipple in a tavern, to sit and watch rowing (though obviously she has a more hands on approach) and we cannot divulge our antics to anyone else for fear of reprobation.


Our greatest difference is that Number 5 adores her. His eyes light up when she enters a room and he openly admits his admiration. Both the coxswain and Belle do not, I think, realise to what extent their lovers idolise them. I on the other hand have to make do with either a scathing look or an arm around me. I have become an expectation in the musician's life and I feel I ought to remove myself from the situation so that I can obtain some objectivity, but I can't quite bring myself to do it.

D. S.

How I am sick to death of all this packing! I cannot find anything to wear for my final night in the Shire and it seems I have misplaced my birthday ring from my ladies! I dread to think where I have left it... Though there is one place that springs to mind but I am terribly embarrassed to contact him after all we have been through.


No, this isn't that Architect I am referring to, but rather a Scottish Earl - the brother of one of my ladies - who I'm sure would be aghast to find out the licentious activities he and I partook the other night, just before the excursion to the capital.


The South Wing is to be unveiled tonight and our final goodbyes uttered. At least until Christmas. Here is a drawing of a piece of our gorgeous new furniture, the Hepplewhite that I mentioned previously.

Isn't it just like me to leave as another scandal is about to rupture through the end of a perfect summer. I accept that there have been a few blemishes along the way. I can only blame myself in respect to the Head Architect, I fell too hard and expected too much when I should have just considered him to be another lover, nothing more.


At least I know where I stand with my Scottish Earl... And neither of us are around for too long, we might not even have the pleasure of each others company during the winter months. I do hope he will be around, it is always refreshing to have someone keep you warm during the long nights, and I know I'd appreciate the length of those nights with him!


I have various items to return that I somehow acquired during the last few months. At least I can find other people's belongings, Heaven knows where all of mine have been stashed!


I will write shortly once I have completed the journey back up North. No doubt this year will be completely different, but no less delightful than the last and I am looking forward to going back but I haven't been pining for those amusements as much as I usually am towards the end of my stay. I wonder what my attitude will reflect of my thoughts, and my scandals...

D. S.

Where to begin? Autumn has started to encroach and that means the packing has just commenced, whispers of the North abound and once again we have to say our farewells.

I'm glad that I am able to keep busy, distracted, I do not want to think about saying goodbye or starting over again.

We will be having our final celebrations in the next week, coinciding with the grand opening of the South Wing. What should be a delightful occasion but is marred by the Architect.

The Baroness and Marquessa are going well out of their way to keep up my spirits as we are going to venture out to the Capital tomorrow. We will return in time for the final ball but not beforehand. I don't think I could cope helping to organise such an event, one that praises him.

No doubt you can tell by my tone that emotions between the Architect and myself have soured. It had nothing to do with our little escapade of staying out all night, but rather as the South Wing was drawing to a close, so it seemed was our relationship. I know that I didn't expect an engagement, but the end seems to have come too soon and I am unhappy with how easily he seems to have recovered from it.

This is why I try not get attached. I've had enough suffering with the Duke, Officer and Architect this year and I want to start afresh.

These last stressful few days have included the news from my Lady Lina that one of our close acquaintances is not returning from the New World. It saddens me to think that there will be fewer of us refined young women in the North and I am disappointed that we do not have another year to share together. But apparently the delights of the New World are too great an opportunity to pass by, so of course I wish her well. It's just a selfish thought knowing that I will miss her!

I will let you know how the visit to the Capital goes, hopefully nothing too dramatic, unless of course we watch something unfold on a stage!

D. S.

Oh dear... I am in all sorts of trouble! There is so much to tell about this last week that I don't quite know where to start.

I guess I had a relatively quiet week for the most part, it wasn't until this weekend that everything got decidedly raucous. The Duke finally held a ball inviting everyone that we knew to grace his delightful abode for the first time this summer. Shocking considering how late in the summer it is! All of us were there, an array of ladies as well as gentlemen, each of whom we have known for the last decade of our lives. I was surprised to see that the Duke's bride-to-be was absent, I may not be her greatest fan but I do love to observe people, especially a couple that has an effect on my life.

I'm tempted to suggest that it is because the Duke obviously has a great affection for one of the ladies! I dare not name her as it may jeopardise our friendship and indeed the Duke's relationship with his fiancé, and despite my jealousy I do not want to cause their destruction. My Officer was there, which was a surprise as I was led to believe that he was going to be away on the Continent. It seems he has three weeks leave, to get married and have a honeymoon before deploying away on whatever mission he is assigned. I may not have had the pleasure of the Duke's fiancé but sitting through the Officer and his bride-to-be's pandering behaviour was more than enough for me!

Unfortunately my Architect was unable to attend the ball so I had to find my amusement elsewhere and it was easy enough as we whiled away the hours catching up with the most scandalous gossip and reaffirming the foundations of our friendships.

Everyone was greatly intrigued to hear about my Architect; I have never been one to claim a man's heart for my own. Normally I acquire the usual flatterers, men who are hopeless romantics and foolishly fall for my charms, or indeed I fall for the impossibility of someone. This is the first time that I have acknowledged someone who cares about me as more than just a passing whim! My darling Baroness and Marquessa find this highly amusing and take great pains to tease me about him but all I do is smile and ignore them. Their jokes run a little too close to the truth...

For this weekend I made the grave error of staying out all night with my Architect! We did nothing overtly wrong, but because we were caught by none other than my parents we have been shamed and humiliated. I'm not sure I'll be able to forget my Mother's face when she saw us return through the gardens in the previous nights clothes all rumpled and askew from sleeping under the stars. We watched the most delicious shooting stars, and had the most romantic evening so in my eyes it was completely worth the debacle we had to suffer in the morning. But I am a little worried as to how my parents are going to react to having him around now, knowing how close the two of us have become, I dread to think that they are expecting an engagement but I don't think it's wise considering I will be going back up North in a month...

Speaking of the North, my Northern ladies are back from their travels on the Continent and had a glorious time, I am looking forward to hearing from them and seeing them in the coming months, the Shire's festivities are not of the same calibre as I am used to from the North. Lord, I had almost forgotten to mention my sweetest Squire has been keeping me informed of all the goings on, mainly because Harlequin is still gallivanting away in some delirious heat, and I have grown ever so fond of the Squire and I trust him explicitly.

Apparently the weather has been atrocious, I do prefer the Southern climate in the summer as the North is so temperamental, and there have been a few riots to do with the Church and other such discrepancies. I will need to reply to his musings at some point, silly Squire making me miss him!

I do hope this nonsense about my misdemeanour with the Architect dies down, I don't want to be harried by the rest of the household for gossip or indeed be subjected to it either! I'm hopefully seeing him this afternoon... The simple thought putting a smile on my face! I do wonder if he is brave enough to face my parents after this weekend... Wish us luck!

D. S.

Why is bumping into the Duke so difficult? An evening of fun and games at the Baroness' and who do we happen to bump into, the Duke. Though he was alone, rather without his bride-to-be and just associating with some gentlemen friends, of mine, I might add. But though I am normally at ease with each of those men I felt out of sorts, as if I wasn't wanted or required. Still trying to figure that out in my head. I'm quite angry at the Duke, especially as he has failed to respond accordingly with a ball of his own after Mother's return. But I know that is not the only reason... I don't have the strength to say it out loud because then it might ring true.

How about we just pause to think about the Architect who has surpassed the Duke in my estimations and just about any other lover or beau in my heart. Yes, I can no longer deny my feelings, and I will happily proclaim them from every rooftop... Once he passes a more physical test! Honestly, I am surprised at myself for the control I have managed to maintain these last few weeks. There have been many opportunities, it just hasn't felt quite right, and I don't just want a fumble in a haystack. I have high hopes for my Architect.

D. S.

Isn't it dreadful that in only a few weeks I can become so infatuated with another person? The most trifle of thoughts and I break out into a silly grin which is so difficult to hide as all I want to do is talk and talk and talk about how happy I am! These last few weeks have been a delight, as the Head Architect and I spend many an evening walking the gardens discussing our hopes and dreams.

There is no doubt that he is ambitious, the South Wing is coming along gloriously and I managed to sneak a glance through the doors just the other day and I can't wait to help Mother pick out the furniture. There is this new designer that I heard of at the last soirée; a George Hepplewhite. It will be a nice variation from the Chippendale that we have used and abused throughout the years.

I received many letters from my lovely ladies who are on their travels, they seem to be having the most delectable time, though I am worried that those who have ventured to the New World may never come home! Although I am intrigued as to what these far away countries are like I cannot imagine never coming home to my Shire. To my Architect.

It is truly dreadful that as I wrote that I giggled. I am not the giggling type and I usually scorn those who fall so easily in and out of... no I cannot say love. It is too soon.

The Officer is being dispatched at some point to the Continent, something to do with the French and Austrians. It is fortunate that I found out as I bumped into his young fiancé. Of course, there was nothing to say about the affair, we were gracious and courteous as ever trading small talk, but I believe I will have to write to the Officer to wish him luck abroad and let him know that he is in my prayers. I would be devastated if his life were taken. And because of this hasty call of duty it seems that my Officer will be wed in the coming weeks. I wonder if I will be invited...

There is more to say about the Duke, but I am pushing him out of my mind. The Head Architect can happily fill any voids in my thoughts.

D. S.

Free at last to update you with the months occurrences. Unfortunately the Shire has been awash with the most abysmal weather so we have had to find refuge indoors, difficult when there are all sorts of workers trying their damnedest (how I love that word, makes me feel quite out of sorts!) to work against the elements.

However, this has meant that I have constantly had the pleasure of the Head Architect's company and there is no doubt in my mind that I have managed to charm him. He is the first eligible suitor I have had in many months and I am unsure as to how to act. He is in great demand from what I can ascertain, many of my contemporaries trying their hand at flirtation in order to capture his attention but even though we spend time alone during the day, at various dinners and balls we dance no more than the obligatory few dances and spend a scarce amount of time talking as we both know there is time enough for us to be together.

I was quite flummoxed this last weekend when I had to endure the Duke and his fiancé at our gathering in honour of my Mother's return. It was obvious, at least to me, that we were both trying to ignore each other as much as possible. I had heard that this was the happy couple's first public outing since their very public engagement. I suppose I shouldn't wonder what that means, because no doubt it means that they are indeed too happy! We had to endure a single dance together which wasn't so much as awkward as dull. No heart of mine should have to be subjected to the antipathy that I now feel for the Duke. Though there are moments late at night when I can't help but think I am hardening my heart because of how much I love him. Can you believe we talked about the weather?! This is the man to whom I bared my inner most thoughts, the man who moulded my dreams to fit like a jigsaw with his.

That is why I am so glad to have the attention of the Head Architect. Selfish or trivial at least my thoughts are kept far and wide from the Duke.

D. S.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my life. There are men that I rely on, that I constantly expect to be there for me without any thought of their actual feelings or what goes on in their lives beyond our dalliances.

I am back in my beloved Shire only to find that my New Year's kiss with the Officer was, yet again, an indiscriminate affair. Only this weekend at the summer fête did I hear from his betrothed that they had been together for the last two years! She was slightly concerned about my feelings, but other than the complete shock all I can think of is my utter reliance on my Officer. That, and how I want to tell this dear naive girl, for she is still so young, that her Officer is not just hers. He never struck me as the type to blatantly lie, hide his feelings or ignore his promises to those whom he has promised his heart.

My darling Ladies are not even around to comfort me, oh how selfish I sound! But I am in a dilemma! Do I destroy her innocence for I would want to know if my fiancé had been unfaithful. Though I know I would come across as bitter and jealous. I am not entirely happy about the relationship, but it is more to do with the fact that I will lose our friendship, for no married man is allowed to be alone in my presence. And that is something that I have kept to these last seven months.

I wish I knew what to do! All this umming and ahhing will lead to nothing and I will just let the relationship run its course, for I guess it has nothing to do with me and, as far as I know, the Officer has been faithful to his engagement for the rest of this year...

In other news, I have been back in the Shire for the last week. It has been a whirlwind of gatherings and picnics as we all catch up with each other. The Marquessa is tempted to go back to her beau but I have been advising her against it; he is not right for her and she does not love him, and she needs to be in a relationship where it has one of those fairy-tale endings. Another relationship has dissolved through, what seems like, every man's inability to be happy with what he has and to constantly have a wondering eye...

My darling Baroness will soon be back from her travels and I cannot wait to see her! It has been far too long and there are always constant giggles and nothing to worry about when I am in her presence. She calms me and manages to be the voice of reason even when I am in one of my rages!

Harlequin too has gone on travels, though every now and again I receive word from him and he tells me of the delights of the Continent. There is a part of me that wishes I were travelling, though my Mother was quite shocked by my appearance when I arrived home. According to her all I needed was to recoup, but she has already disappeared to go and see our Tata over in Eastern Europe, so I am left to my own devices...

Which, I might add have been relatively innocent, considering it's me. The work on the South Wing is nearly completed, but there still has been enough time to flirt with the Head Architect. He is very artistic and passionate about his work. I have watched him as he walks the grounds, his brow furrowing as he concentrates, running his hands through his sandy-coloured hair. I am fortunate that he dines with us as my father is so interested in the various new styles that the South Wing has developed. Though I am more interested in what the Head Architect thinks of me...

I will leave for now, I can hear my father calling me and that might mean I get to spend some time with the Architect and that is an opportunity I do not want to miss!

D. S.

How strange it feels to be in the Northern counties when everyone else has departed on their various vacations. Each of my ladies have travelled far and wide for the summer season, Rosinda even going so far as the New World, I can't tell you how much I am going to miss them all.

I haven't heard from Mother in about a week which is quite strange, I'm hoping that the extension on the South Wing hasn't been hindered whatsoever... Which reminds me, I did have a short postscript from the Marquessa in her last letter that the Head Architect had been asking after me, flattering to say the least, and brought a smile to my face. Hopefully he will still be around when I return in a months time as there will be no one in the Shire to keep me entertained now that the Duke is engaged.

Yes, how dare I even have had a glimmer of hope when the Duke had so set his heart on this new Scottish bride? There was the most elaborate proposal, so I've heard, that as he finished his pilgrimage at Land's End (I'm so grateful that I had a prior engagement that heeded my appearance in the end) the Duke pulled out a ring and declared to his audience that he had been carrying it for the last 800 miles contemplating his love of his new country and the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Of course she said yes, who wouldn't? He has good looks, charm, money that in itself is normally considered enough, but the Duke has class and breeding and a kindness that he brings to every aspect of his life. I know I can no longer fantasise about my life with him as it is never going to happen. I cannot become the other woman in their relationship, though of course the Duke would never even consider so sordid a situation. Yet I know that I would jump at the chance and that makes me doubt myself. I am becoming this unscrupulous woman, someone that I had always deplored yet I cannot deny that I everyday I inch closer to this immoral character.

I no longer want to think about the Duke. Maybe I need a distraction up North, a page boy or a squire, someone relatively insignificant that can fill me in while I wait for the One. Oh dear, I sound as optimistic as my ladies in the Shire. All of whom believe in the clichéd soul mate, whereas I have always scorned such impracticalities and fanciful notions, trusting the sensual cravings of my body and happily giving in to lust. How my reputation would suffer if everyone knew even half as much as what I do get up to. It makes me laugh to think there are those who look up to me... If only they knew.

D. S.

An impromptu visit home has been far more beneficial than I thought it would be. I feel so much more healthy and relaxed with the prospect of summer just around the corner. How I wish I had more to look forward to than spending the season in the North trying to be the epitome of the 'accomplished woman'.

I can't believe how much I am appreciating being home; I didn't realise how stressed I was and what with all the ridiculous theatrics that have become overwhelming I guess it's not that surprising! My Mother of course is harping on at me to catch a husband, as if it were that simple, and that sounds so unappealing, as if I'd have to wrestle with a fish! At least she acquiesced to my horror at the thought of an arranged marriage. I am only twenty, marriage hardly enters my thoughts - only love... Lust.

Speaking of which, my parents have taken on the task of expanding the South Wing and the entire manor is crawling with delectable specimens of the male form. The Head Architect has definitely managed to capture my attention, although I don't think Mother would approve if I started fraternising with the staff... But of course that makes it so much more tempting.

The Marquessa and I had lunch together yesterday, she is just back from her travels in Ireland. Unfortunately the suspicious situation with her family has been ignored rather than resolved, and that they are moving location yet again makes me worry about their finances. How I wish I could convince her to move up North with me just for the rest of the season!

Correspondence with the Duke has dwindled, I supposed I should be grateful as it means he doesn't conquer my thoughts nor cloud my judgements, yet if I thought there were a chance maybe I wouldn't make so many rash decisions... However, I do know that he is making a pilgrimage with his sister from John O'Groats to Land's End. Hopefully I will be able to appear with the final entourage as he arrives at his final destination, I might even get to meet the competition.

I am looking forward to my final stay up North, though I know that the majority of people won't be around, but maybe that will be a blessing in disguise?

D. S.