Merry Christmas and a happy new year! 

I've had a wonderful time with my family and friends over the last few days and now I'm relaxing in the strong arms of my beloved Duke as we relive the memories we've made over the past year. 

He's opened up about my surprise and I'm delighted to announce we're off to Bavaria tomorrow! I'm utterly overjoyed with his choice and am frantically packing. I've heard there is an abundance of snow and I can't wait to travel to somewhere new!! 

I am very lucky to have the Duke of Albany in my life. 

In other news... I've had the privilege of one of my short stories being published with the help of an esteemed writer. It is only a small stepping stone but it is the greatest encouragement to my craft and I look forward to more writing while staring over the Bavarian mountains. 

D. S. 

Another evening swiftly passes and with it a day closer to the surprise that the Duke of Albany is keeping hidden closely to his chest. We return to the Shire the day after next to spend the Christmas festivities with my Father and Brother, for my Mother still dwells on the Antipodean shores and his family reside in the mountains of Bohemia. 

It is our second Christmas together and I can only hope it is as magical as last winter. Though it feels like not much has changed over the past year, we have traveled many miles to be where we are today. There have been a few difficulties as the Duke and I have taken the time to get used to the northern counties; I do sometimes forget how lucky I am to have the Duke in the same country as me. We went so many months without each other last year that it seems strange to think after only four months I already take him for granted. My love for him has not diminished, in fact we are most inclined to spend our evenings cuddled up together in bed, but this surprise might be just what we both desire to reignite our passions. 

It's difficult to explain... I suppose love happens this way; the passions which burn bright at the start of the relationship tend to wane under the comfortable blanket of time. I sincerely hope that this surprise will be enough to reignite the fires of our love.

I had the pleasure of the Marquessa yesterday. We dined and drank and made pleasant conversation about our lives. It amazes me how time waits for no man, nor woman,  and we reminisced about how our lives have changed. The Winter Solstice is always a time for remembering, and I take back what I said, I do love my life, but it, nor I, are by any means perfect. 

I shall being to ponder upon my new years resolutions... And wonder where in the world I shall drink that first glass of champagne.



D. S.

A mere ten days keep me from the Lord's day of birth, and a celebration of Christmas festivities. The Duke of Albany and I have spent a wonderful weekend together making sure we have all our gifts for our families and friends, as well as rekindling our love. 

He has kept me in suspense regarding our New Years rendez vous, and I am more than happy to keep it that way. All I have been told is to be prepared for a journey and to pack accordingly. The Duke knows how I adore to travel so wherever he choose I know I will  fall in love with, adding to my already great fondness for certain countries.

I have heard from the delightful Lady of Corcaigh who has written in the hope of making arrangements for next Spring. I have acquiesced, not just because it is the right thing to do, but because I would very much like to see her and reminisce about our time in Bohemia. Never shall I forget that time she made me drink more than is sensible... I can only imagine our reunion to be just as eventful.

Christmas is always such an interesting time, new beginnings should be forming as I look to my resolutions, but my life is rather wonderful and there is nothing that I would change. I hope not to instigate any hubris for my feelings of content, but rather off up my happiness and to give thanks for my life. 

Truly, I am most grateful to be where I am.



D. S.

Weeks go by and nothing changes in my life but one weekend is enough to make quite the difference. 

I returned to the Shire to celebrate my Father's birthday and to reunite with my wonderful brunette and a gentleman or two from home. We sang and we danced and we made light of some very deep conversations and topics, but I wouldn't expect anything less (or more) from my darlings in the Shire. From Christmas half a decade past, though we have all gone our separate ways, it seems that not enough changes when we are all reunited! But it is somewhat reassuring to think that our friendships have spanned and survived through the passing of time.

I left the Duke of Albany behind, not because of any quarrel but because he sought some time alone to organise our Christmas and winter festivities. I had wanted to take charge myself but was refused that privilege, being told to enjoy the unknown. 

Africa is completely off the cards as Father has discovered that he has other commitments which means he cannot take the time off. My brother has also claimed to be too busy and though I am somewhat disappointed, I'm excited to think of what the Duke may be planning. Most people know how much I do enjoy a surprise, and I've never before allowed a man to take this much control. 

We've talked about the Duke's family coming to the Shire but it seems there is fear of an abundance of snow and to be trapped worlds apart from your home is not something I wish to inflict on any family or friends of mine. So Christmas itself will be spent with my family and friends but the New Year is his to create an everlasting memory.

Anyway, I have returned to the Northern counties for a fortnight of winter festivities (though I have been unfortunate enough to lose my voice!) and to keep the masses entertained. I look forward to what the future has to hold!



D. S.

My first week in a brand new location as a brand new educator, making the most of my new role (which I can say no more about) has been fabulous. I wish I could divulge more but it is not my place to say, other than I am enjoying my Royal charge duties as a Lady-in-Waiting.

The northern counties have always been good to me, but this time round I definitely feel as if I am in more control than ever before. I've always been somewhat demanding and stubborn (you may feel a twinge of pity for the Duke of Albany and his unlimited patience) but I don't think I'd have got to where I am without those personality traits. 

I do miss the northern ladies who I graced the city with last month for we have all gone our separate ways, and though we are all on similar journeys we have to do this part all on our own. I wish them the very best and I hope to hear from them soon, though Christmas will no doubt be an even bigger distraction.

Ahh, Christmas... It seems that Africa is off the cards and I have to admit that I am more than a little disappointed not to return to the land of my heart. But it means the Duke and I can plan our jaunt across the Continent to the Austro-Hungarian Empire and wander through the historic streets of our ancestors. Actually... I can't wait!



D. S.

To think we are on the cusp of winter and it is still warm enough not to wear fur in the day time! It is a stark contrast to the Bohemian winter I endured last year, when the snows were already threatening and the days themselves were grey and dark.

It is a time for seeing old friends as the end of the year creeps upon us, and I had the wonderful pleasure of the Duchess of Tuthershire this past weekend. It is always a pleasure to see her, we laugh and chatter like no time has passed, and it is a delightful feeling to know that some friendships are forever.

She kept me up to date with her life in the Capital, and we gossiped about our last night out together where we made a secret cellar our home for the evening. She talks about her need to travel, with which I can completely sympathise, though she doesn't have the responsibilities that I do to tie her down ~I must admit I am a little envious, for there was a time when the world was my oyster...

Do not think I am discouraged in my own endeavours! I still adore my position as Lady-in-Waiting and the home that the Duke and I have built together. I don't think I will ever 'grow out' of my need to explore, my wanderlust.

Speaking of journeys, Christmas is still the talk of the household. Of course the servants want to know if they have to prepare for the Duke's family to come here from Bohemia, or if the Duke and I are to return to the Shire, or indeed if we are to go further afield to the Sub-Saharan plains.

I'm afraid I still cannot answer this question for there are too many variables to take into account, but no doubt all will be decided at the last minute. Thankfully it is not I (for a change) who is holding up the decision-making-process, for I have cast my vote for Africa. I want to go back after all these years. I want to feel the red soil and yellow grass beneath my feet and listen to the vastness.

It has been long enough.



D. S.

Of course a decision regarding the Christmas tidings has not yet been made. There is not enough time to squeeze everything in, and I have never been any good at prioritising. My two main concerns are making sure I get to spend some of the fortnight with the Duke and my family. With his family still travelling to the Shire from Bohemia I don't have to worry about seeing them on the Continent for when I see the Duke I shall see them, but it may be fleeting if the Duke and I decide to continue on to the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

I don't want to have to choose between my family and the Duke of Albany's family, or even between my Father and my lover. I couldn't think of anything worse! Nevertheless, I feel without a very strict schedule, this Christmas may be a lot more trouble than last year's.

The Duke has actually left me to my own devices (no, not for good, only for a few days!) because he's seen how much work I have to do. He's making the most of his jaunt to see a few friends in the Shire, and though I wish I could have joined him, I'm enjoying the solitude. 

I say solitude... This weekend past I had the immense pleasure of throwing a Ladies Only Ball. I invited those who are in the same position as I and made them promise to dress up to the nines, even if it was only for ourselves. We also made a pact not to talk about the position of authority we shall eventually be undertaking, and just revel in being alive in a time of greatness.

The delightful ladies not only dolled themselves up so much so that they were almost unrecognisable for their beauty, but we drank and danced like it was our last night in this world. I had a delicious night and certainly felt a closer bond with those fabulous ladies as we twirled and frolicked to our hearts' content. My head may have been pounding the following day (and even now, two days later I don't feel one hundred percent) but it was completely worth it.

I just can't wait to do it all again, though we may have to wait a few months to recover!

D. S.

The weeks are flying by and there is more and more talk of the Christmas festivities. Father has even introduced the idea of travelling South for the winter and meeting up with friends and family in the Southern Hemisphere. Not the Antipodes however, Mother will stay with her new found 'friends' on the side of the ever-expanding world. Father is talking about his beloved Africa. His home. And what was once my home, my childhood home. 

At first I was very excited to return; imagine going back somewhere you haven't set foot in fifteen years! But now I have a few trepidations ~ what if I fall back in love with Africa? What if it is not as wonderful as I remember? What if I want to stay?

I know myself well enough (now!) to fear my spontaneity. Only sometimes. But this could be one of those times. 

The Duke of Albany and I had talked about spending the new year in a castle amongst the Austro-Hungarian Empire and he's already expressed his disappointment if we do not go. There isn't enough time to do everything! The two of us only have a fortnight to include as much of his family, what's left of my family and our friends. Let alone trying to fit in three countries and two continents! 

The traveller in me instantly jumped at the chance to go to Africa again, but would a week suffice? If I have this longing should I not explore it further and stay for longer when the time is more convenient? Also the Duke would not follow me to Africa - one continent is more than enough, and it is unfair to ask him to abandon his own family at such a time as this. But do I want to spend my Christmas without him?

There are too many questions and the clock is forever ticking...

D. S. 

What a difference a few days can make. I have had the time to myself to gather and collect my thoughts so that I can prioritise what is most important to me (the Duke and my writing) as well as the responsibilities I now carry as a Lady-in-Waiting. 

There is nothing so wonderful as having an organised mind and knowing exactly what it is and where it is you want to go next. I have to admit, the novelty of this feeling hasn't yet worn off ~ which is something that is prone to happening ~ and for the first time I can remember I am enjoying the calm that comes with order. 

The Duke of Albany is away (again) on one of his ventures about the Embassy. He is talking about having his family travel over for the Christmas festivities from Bohemia. Though they were more kind to me than I ever expected them to be, I can't imagine how my Royal Family would react to my asking for a retinue of hundreds to turn up at their door. I have explained the difficulties in logistics to the Duke, but he is more stubborn than I, and has vowed to find a way.

If he can make it happen, then so be it.

I need to catch up with my correspondences; there is a festival in the park this weekend and I want to invite Belle to promenade the stalls with me. I haven't seen her in over a fortnight, which is abominable considering we live nigh on a few miles from each other. I shall indeed write to her, post haste. 

Other than making the most of all I have to do with my new position and learning to cope with the living arrangements between the Duke and myself (it is more fun than I anticipated for I was a little concerned, and though we argue, they are but a trifle compared to when we were apart) there is not much to report. 

This festival shall hopefully increase any dampened spirits, and I hope to maybe have an invite to a Ball in the near future. Oh, how I long to dance again!



D. S.

I do hope everyone had the most wonderful Christmas tidings and was thoroughly spoilt, guzzling on delicious eats and drinking to excess, for how else is Christmas to be spent?

My family and I celebrated accordingly and we were graced with the presence of the charmingly handsome Duke of Albany, who followed me from the mountains of Bohemia to the humble hills of the Shire. He has been most gracious and has enraptured my ladies of the Shire as well as my parents. The grin that adorns my lips has barely been absent as the Duke becomes an easy piece to fit into the jigsaw of my life. 

Plans are being made for the future... Travel is still at the forefront of my mind, but I am doing my utmost to convince the Duke that he wants to go on a Grande Tour with me. I know I am asking a lot, to leave his home in Bohemia for a few weeks over Christmas is nothing in comparison to an invitation for a year of journeying the world, but there is no one I'd rather go anywhere with.

I look forward to our return to Bohemia and gazing upon the painting in all its glory. The Duke and I have decided to throw a party in honour of the artist, though no doubt she will be less than grateful. But before we journey home in a week, we have to travel to the Northern counties and welcome in the new year with Belle and the Lady of Corcaigh. Only a few days separate me from my most beloved friends and I cannot wait to drink champagne and celebrate.



D. S.

I'm home. The Shire beckoned and I cannot ignore the familiar sound of my name as I am called to partake in the Christmas festivities. However, this time I do not return alone. 

The Duke of Albany has kept his word and spent the last two days journeying with me back to the land that I call my home. We squabbled like children over the most trivial decisions and I do think it's because we are both slightly nervous about how he will be received. He is a legend in his own right as the grandchild of Bohemia, but in the Shire we care less about your position and more about your heart and soul.

We left Bohemia in the most traditional of manners, following ancient protocol, only after we'd delivered the painting the Duke had commissioned of myself to his private chambers. He claims the likeness is uncanny, and I have to admit the artist is far better than her reputation give her credit, though her attitude is still somewhat to be desired. 

Aphrodite incarnate. It is a play on the Duke's carnal appetite towards me and though I blush at my state of undress in the painting, I cannot help but be a little proud of the work of art.

The Duke and I have been holed up for long enough, and today we shall arrive as is proper, receiving a welcome fit for the Dukes and Duchesses we are. Of course my mother shall be there, and I am interested to know how she shall react to the Duke... He can be charming but I do hope he doesn't antagonise her! 

I shall let you know how the whole event fares, but wish me luck, a foreign Duke is making his home in the Shire.



D. S.

What a weekend. Already three days have past and I am no closer to that elusive recovery, and I have a very particular lady to blame for that matter. However, because she provided me with more entertainment than usual, she shall be forgiven. Also, we were celebrating her birthday and it's only fair to be a little exuberant when the occasion calls for it.

I look forward to continuing these raucous celebrations well into the new year.

Despite my nonchalant response to the weekend's behaviour, I managed to get chastised for over exerting myself by none other than the artist! (No doubt some of you assumed the Duke would have been the one to scold me, but he allows me the freedom to act as I please, which is greatly appreciated). This artist, on the other hand, and I have been at odds since our first meeting and she reprimanded me for wasting her time as I was 'looking less than perfect' because of the previous evening's intoxication. This apparently meant she couldn't paint me. At least not that day.

So I was left to my own devices, in a state rather worse for wear, to wait on a lowly artist! I penned a rather scathing letter to the Duke of Albany, but thankfully saw the good sense not to send it straight away. It actually helped just to write down how I felt.

The artist and I have had two more sittings since then, where I have met her ridiculously high standards and I have to admit I am pleased with how the Aphrodite is looking. It doesn't feel like me, but rather as if I am seeing the birth of a goddess.

We only have two days left to finish the painting before the Duke and I journey to the Shire for the Christmas festivities. Winter has well and truly set into Bohemia's roots as everywhere I see people bundled up in their furs, but letters from home dictate a much warmer clime, even for this time of year. 

I have to admit I am rather anxious about the Duke meeting my entire family. Not since the farce of the blonde Esquire has a suitor met my parents, especially someone that they hadn't already chosen for me! The Duke is his usual reproachable self, and I wonder if I should worry more, but deep down I know he will delight them and have to fend himself against my Mother's hints of marriage!

Oh how I long for the Shire, and to celebrate new beginnings with Belle, the Irish Lady of Corcaigh and the Duke of Albany. Truly I couldn't imagine seeing in the new year without them at my side.

D. S.

To accept the offer of having a painting commissioned of myself for another is no small thing. I know it will be of much talk once it is revealed, especially as it has been decided that we shall honour the gods of the Ancient realms, and I only pray that I can do justice to the beauty of Aphrodite. The artist must have a talent greater than the looks I have been blessed with so as not to anger nor misrepresent in any way.

The Duke has left me in the artist's capable hands, but I have to admit I was more than surprised when I first laid eyes on the creative candidate. The Duke of Albany failed to mention that the artist is no man, but rather a woman of great beauty in her own right ~ no wonder she pays such care and consideration to the female form. I am glad that I saw some of her work before it was revealed that she was a woman. I have heard of no respectable lady having the fortune to be blessed with the talent of more than a hand for drawing, but the Duke assured me that we do not swim in the same circles. What he meant by that, I cannot even begin to fathom.

The artist was dressed most modestly and I felt like a peacock on display as I waited for her arrival in all my finery. She paid no heed to the jewels that adorned my throat, and she meticulously pulled the rings off my fingers, the precious gems glinting in the winter sunlight, but even they could not catch her attention. It wasn't until I stood there in front of her in nothing but the body that God has blessed me with that she began to show any interest in me at all.

She walked around me, feeling the contours of my body, and I shivered beneath her touch, grateful for the roaring fire to keep me warm. She made a few notes and a few pencil sketches while I waited for her to finish her appraisal. Never have I felt so naked before another human being, not even after the scandal in Iberia, and I know that sounds silly, but the artist scrutinized me with an eye for detail that I could not ignore. 

Not many words were shared between the two of us and it is not often that I find myself speechless. I wonder what the relationship is between the Duke of Albany and this artist, how did they meet, where did she come from, what is her story? I shall have to interrogate him when I next lay eyes on him. 

I now have a weekend in the City of a Hundred Spires to look forward to before the artist and I meet again for our first sitting. We have a busy week ahead of us as the Duke and I continue to make arrangements for the Christmas tidings. Belle has invited us to her abode in the Northern Counties to see in the New Year, and I heard the wondrous news that the Irish lady of Corcaigh shall also be joining us. 

How much can change in a year. As always I get a little pensive over the winter months, but truly I am content. Even though this artist is a little disconcerting...



D. S.

As December draws nearer I cannot help but recall the past year and what a change it has meant for me. A year ago I was living with the Duke of the Shire's sister and we were partying the nights away as if there were no tomorrow. It was oh so frivolous compared to the life I am leading now, however I have those memories that I will always look back on fondly. There was never a dull moment with the Duke's sister.

Now I am worlds apart in Bohemia, not completely alone, but certainly not the centre of attention in a tizzy of soirées as before. I had both the White Knight and the blonde Esquire at my beck and call, whereas now I am completely independent, only indulging my sexual appetite with the Duke of Albany. I spent long enough in the cloisters of the Convent over the summer that I think it is only fair to make the most of the winter months, wrapped up in furs and listening to the fires roar and crackle while we... Well, I'll leave that much to your imagination. 

I have finally asked the Duke if he would join me in the Shire over the Christmas tidings and he has accepted my invitation. I have had to write to my mother and let her know there shall be company for the festivities, but because it is a man of nobility my mother will have already started planning the wedding in her head. Poor Albany does not know what he has got himself into. 

It is sometimes unnerving to think that I met the Duke so many months ago without realising it was him. Those piercing blue eyes have a way of hypnotising me and often I think I'm sparring with the lowly messenger rather than the grandchild of Bohemia (his words, not mine).

Life is currently everything I could ask for; I have the time to write and have accomplished so much in the last thirty days, as well as having the Duke to converse with while we concentrate on fulfilling dreams I didn't even know I had. The Shire calls as Christmas should be spent with friends and family, but Bohemia is the perfect surrogate home. 



D. S.

How can I describe the weekend I've had to bid a sad farewell to? More than fond memories of pleasures and pains are brought to my attention as my body aches with every step,  muscles having been stretched into familiar and oh-so-missed positions. It had been far too long; I do not negate the touch of a woman, she was everything I longed for then... This weekend however I was ravished by a man, and sometimes there is nothing like it. 

I daren't divulge any more of my licentious weekend  (though I fear I may have already said too much) but shall give a necessary insight to my less physical lifestyle choices. 

My writing has once again become the forefront of all my decisions. I write every day (when not consumed by passion) and I long to have my words published; if only I had the stamina and determination to finish something! 

So I write, more than little fancies and musings and diary entries. I write stories, praying if only one person ever reads them, they shall bring a short window of happiness. More selfishly I hope to one day read them to my children. It is impossible to think of my future without children, I spend my days with the future of Bohemia (when not in the Duke's company) and I long to have children of my own. One day, not yet. 

The winter nights lengthen and we've been shrouded in a dense fog for over a week now. Snow is on the tips of everyone's tongues as we count down the days, watching as the mountains seem to have topped themselves with a soft sprinkling. 

The markets are delicious with the smells of cinnamon and spices permeating from the town centre, they are most delightful. I am ever so happy here but I know I shall journey to spend Christmas in the Shire with my lords and ladies. The Duke has intimated his desire to follow me to my home, wanting to broaden his horizons. I have not yet offered a formal invitation but I do so want him to accompany me... I shall have to see what Jeeves has to say about the matter. 

D. S.

I do hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I know I enjoyed the mulled wine, mince pies, carols and company of my family immensely, even when they are driving me around the twist. It's all a part of Christmas, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Of course I have more to write about than Christmas tidings; the blonde Esquire has kept true to his word regarding his intention to court me; the White Knight seems to have left my life with a noble farewell for the last time; and the New Year is just around the corner!

The past week has been filled with much merriment, and the blonde Esquire has provided the majority of the entertainment. We have dined and danced and dallied with all our spare time in the hope to appease his Mother. I have yet to meet her, but I have heard from the Esquire she is pleased with his progress. I wonder how long we will have to keep up this artificial pretense, but for now I am enjoying spending time with the blonde; we scheme and laugh without a care in the world. It is delightfully refreshing to spend time with someone without having to worry whether or not their intentions are true, or indeed having to behave as expected!

The White Knight however returned and made his purpose quite plain. He is to leave again for some battle abroad but hoped to return to a wife and the mother of his child. I was aghast at his presumption, and told him so quite smartly... We exchanged a fair few words and we both left each other with our egos bruised. I don't know what came over him; I was quite looking forward to his return. How was I to know that it was marriage he wanted?

I have, in the mean time, heard once again from the Captain. It is most sporadic but I do smile when I receive such correspondence. However I fear that time and distance have taken its toll on our feelings for one another. I will always remember him fondly and maybe... In the future? I shan't give up hope completely.

But now I have to plan the New Years Eve festivities (and of course consider my resolutions) and decide what theme, what invitations and what scandals may or may not occur. The blonde Esquire has given me his word that he shall attend as to whatever Ball I may throw, and Belle has written to say she shall join us in the Shire. I look forward to Armiger's company this afternoon and I do hope this, the final week of the year, has fewer surprises than the penultimate.

D. S.

Not a day had passed since my last post when I received a long-awaited correspondence from the gallivanting White Knight. My thoughts have been plagued with decisions (something we all know I find troublesome at the very least) and I have busied myself with Christmas antics so as to distract my thoughts.

The blonde stranger took a rather unexpected turn over these past few weeks; I expected to hear very little of him, or from him, but it seems he had other ideas. The very same day the White Knight blasted his presence back into my life after weeks of neglect, the blonde stranger showed up on my doorstep, most impromptu, and stole me away for several hours... What we did, well I shall not share all, but I've discovered his stature and his intentions.

The blonde stranger is of landed gentry, an Esquire of the Shire, who had heard through the rumour-mill that two Ladies had ventured out into the big wide world on their own. At first I was a little tentative, for he kept the truth hidden behind an innocently coy charm, but he was not shy and he kept a most respectful distance (to start off with).

Apparently his Mother had sent him to court either of the Duchesses so as to woo their hearts and confirm a betrothal in order to gain a higher standing in court. I was surprised by his honesty, shocked that his Mother had such a hidden agenda planned out for her son, but after talking it through... It is exactly what every daughter is subject to from the moment she is born.

Of course I asked why he had been so honest with me, I could comprehend his Mother's cunning scheme, but his honesty? That was almost disturbing! Was it just a ruse to get closer to me? How had he made his choice between the Duke's sister and myself? Did he see me as an easy target?

Affronted, I tore away from him, marching down the garden path back to my home, but the blonde Esquire soon caught me in his arms, staring down into my eyes, his hands upon my body felt natural and almost familiar. I attempted to struggle against his firm hold, but to no avail; I eventually had to give up, short breaths escaping from my open mouth in exhaustion.

He smiled at me, and kissed the tip of my nose. Of course I motioned to refute his advances, but he stopped me with a finger held to my lips and said, 'I don't want to marry you. I don't feel the need to increase my social standing. I love my freedom, I love my family, I love my Mother. I don't want to disappoint her by not trying to make you fall in love with me, but I also don't want to run the risk that you may end up getting hurt.'

The blonde Esquire sighed heavily and let me go, turning away from me. I stared at him, willing him to go on, as I tried to catch his eye.

'You could cause me a lot of trouble Duchess, but if you trust me, and I know I'm asking a lot, I do have a plan that may suit both of us.'

He held out his hand, and who am I to refuse the plight of a young man?

It was soon after our rendez vous that I received word from the White Knight, but I am finding it easier to ignore his beckoning. I cannot jump every time he calls my name.

Of course this plan with the blonde Esquire may go awry: we are to start courting in the run up to Christmas, we shall spend time together and appease his Mother in his valiant attempt to gain my heart. But after a few months, we shall have an awful row about another woman he has been fraternising with behind my back and then that shall be all.

Personally I am looking forward to the challenge!

D. S. 

Oh how I do love the Christmas festivities! Everyone seems to be in such jolly moods and there is goodwill to all men. Of course I am referring specifically to the time spent at the Christmas Ball on Friday night, but I shall get to that, eventually.

I had the most wondrous pleasure of the Court Jester in the City of Dreaming Spires last week; we dined and talked as if no time at all had passed since our last encounter, little realising that over a year had slipped by. We talked of many things, fools and kings, both in our retinue and those further abroad. I do hope we will manage to coordinate our lives accordingly so as to spend more time together than we have done previously.

However upon my return to the Shire, my ladies were all a flutter about the ever approaching Ball. I cannot deny that my heart was in my chest; not only because this would be my first outing as an independent woman, standing on my own two feet, but secondly I'd had another glimpse of the blonde stranger... Intrigued would be such an understatement!

I cannot say what it is that beguiles me, but I am drawn to his 'je ne sais quoi', the knowing smile is ever so tantalising and yet, he does not mean to make it easy for me. I daren't ask his name, for fear that the spell will be broken.

Thinking of brokenness only hardens my heart: I read somewhere that if you are in love with two people you should always choose the second, for if you were truly in love with the first, you would never have fallen in love with the second. As much as I long for the Captain, he is somewhat displaced within my thoughts. I think of him almost carelessly, like the words to a much loved and much heard song; a lullaby that will never be forgotten, but is all too soon grown out of...

Ahh yes, the Christmas Ball. I was on my best behaviour (for a change) and enjoyed the game the blonde stranger played with me; catching my eye and making me blush! The subtle flirtations were rather hushed compared to my more brazen approach, but I do enjoy the chase and the indication of what is to come!

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I, for I cannot get the anonymous blonde out of my head, and for some silly reason his every mention makes me smile... 

D. S.

Hedonism is judged of poor repute by most in society, an over-indulgent, self-imposed, ill-disciplined waste of time. Personally, I don't quite see what's wrong with living for the moment, it doesn't have to be taken to extremes, but I can't understand the necessity to worry about the future when we have very little control over our lives anyway!

Last weekend was wonderful; dancing until the early hours of the morn, challenging our new found neighbours to deplorable acts, sharing stolen moments that cannot yet be repeated and laughing mercilessly at nothing in particular.

The soirée was a little more exuberant than the Duke's sister and I had first intended, but isn't that always the way? It is nigh on impossible to have a 'quiet night in' with friends!! Or at least with the friends that we have!

Our neighbours have easily been included in this circle of familiarity; a Lord and Lady live the closest, and they are somewhat more sensible than the Duke's sister and myself, but I did catch a glimpse of mischief in their eyes as they petted their enormous hound. A gorgeous bitch from the Continent, she contrasts slightly with the smaller pooches I am used to, but she is full of the joy of life, and what's there not to like about that?

Indeed all our guests were most entertaining, regaling tales of the Shire that even I was unaware of! It seems there is scandal wherever you may look, most of it unfounded, but the rumours, gossip and lies are easily spread, like a virus with no purpose other than a cause for destruction.

I feel those who fall in its path for I remember what it is like (after the incident with the Irish cream...) to have rumours follow you; and I can imagine it is only made worse when there is no substance to the truth of it! Those who are pathetic enough to make up rumours surely need to find something more constructive to do with their over active imaginations?

But I shall not dwindle on about untruths for there is something FAR more exciting to talk about...

An invitation to a Christmas Ball!

Who am I to refuse the delectable sights and sounds of the Shire when my name is printed upon gilt paper, tempting and taunting me to go and enjoy myself? Of course I shall attend, I look forward to the company of a blonde stranger from last weekend, and I can't wait to dress up for the festive season.

Indeed I intend to travel to the City of Dreaming Spires today to find a suitable dress and hopefully spend some time with the Court Jester and Armiger!

D. S.

What can possibly be my excuse for straying away from my writing for so long?

Can I claim that a lover has had my senses ensnared in a deviant game of cat and mouse?

Or have I been wallowing in my own self-pity as my loneliness begins to seep in and become a reality?

In truth it is neither of these more romantic ideals; life has just run away with me and writing has taken a back seat. Something I never thought would happen, and today I am determined to make writing the forefront of my goals... For the time being.

What can I say about the time I have spent away? I heard a statement about love, the only true statement I have ever heard in regard to that flimsy state of being...

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

This is not supposed to be a pronouncement of how I am newly in love. You should all know by now that I am in love and have been for quite a while... The Captain still holds my heart even though the time and distance do strain the feelings we have for each other.

I know that we share the same skies, and I am always reminded of his love when it is the time of day to say good morning or goodnight to that burning orb in the sky. But I do not have him near me; I cannot touch him, kiss him or caress him, that I so long to do.

With the sun rising as I know my Captain is laying his head down for the night, I imagine what it would be like if we were together... This longing can only go on for so long. We are only human and though great love stories claim that true love can transcend time and distance, I am determined to have him in my arms before a full year passes without the touch of his lips.

So I have sent him a letter, imploring him to think about his journey to the Shire and be realistic. Of course I want to see him, of course I want him as a part of my life here, but he cannot dawdle and limber on here while I have to go about by businesses. In my eyes I can see only one solution... He takes on a position here in the Shire over our summer.

To me it makes perfect sense to have him around, to keep him occupied and to have him all through the nights by my side. I cannot abandon my work for him for longer than my return journey to the Antipodes and I daren't ask him to loll about without me by his side!

I only hope the letter reaches him in a mood of acquiescence, though I do hate the feeling as if I am telling him how to live his life!

I had the glorious pleasure of Belle over the weekend and we shared many a story about the Convent and the Gameskeeper, musician and Brewer. Not only were we fortunate to meet and converse with ease, but we were joined by another governess, and the three of us drank many a daiquiri and reminisced over the summer. Indeed, they condoned and fully supported my idea for the Captain. I only hope that he understands my perspective...

The White Knight returns over the Christmas period and of course I am looking forward to seeing him, however, I fear he may be wanting more than I had originally anticipated. If that is the case, I suppose I may have to end our friendship, or at least the more physical aspect of our relationship. 

The anonymous source of the quote was correct, life is wonderful when you're in love. But at the moment, I am content and enjoy being awake, though my lovers are spread across the world and not within my grasp.

But hopefully, not for much longer.

D. S.