Isn't it dreadful that in only a few weeks I can become so infatuated with another person? The most trifle of thoughts and I break out into a silly grin which is so difficult to hide as all I want to do is talk and talk and talk about how happy I am! These last few weeks have been a delight, as the Head Architect and I spend many an evening walking the gardens discussing our hopes and dreams.

There is no doubt that he is ambitious, the South Wing is coming along gloriously and I managed to sneak a glance through the doors just the other day and I can't wait to help Mother pick out the furniture. There is this new designer that I heard of at the last soirée; a George Hepplewhite. It will be a nice variation from the Chippendale that we have used and abused throughout the years.

I received many letters from my lovely ladies who are on their travels, they seem to be having the most delectable time, though I am worried that those who have ventured to the New World may never come home! Although I am intrigued as to what these far away countries are like I cannot imagine never coming home to my Shire. To my Architect.

It is truly dreadful that as I wrote that I giggled. I am not the giggling type and I usually scorn those who fall so easily in and out of... no I cannot say love. It is too soon.

The Officer is being dispatched at some point to the Continent, something to do with the French and Austrians. It is fortunate that I found out as I bumped into his young fiancé. Of course, there was nothing to say about the affair, we were gracious and courteous as ever trading small talk, but I believe I will have to write to the Officer to wish him luck abroad and let him know that he is in my prayers. I would be devastated if his life were taken. And because of this hasty call of duty it seems that my Officer will be wed in the coming weeks. I wonder if I will be invited...

There is more to say about the Duke, but I am pushing him out of my mind. The Head Architect can happily fill any voids in my thoughts.

D. S.

Free at last to update you with the months occurrences. Unfortunately the Shire has been awash with the most abysmal weather so we have had to find refuge indoors, difficult when there are all sorts of workers trying their damnedest (how I love that word, makes me feel quite out of sorts!) to work against the elements.

However, this has meant that I have constantly had the pleasure of the Head Architect's company and there is no doubt in my mind that I have managed to charm him. He is the first eligible suitor I have had in many months and I am unsure as to how to act. He is in great demand from what I can ascertain, many of my contemporaries trying their hand at flirtation in order to capture his attention but even though we spend time alone during the day, at various dinners and balls we dance no more than the obligatory few dances and spend a scarce amount of time talking as we both know there is time enough for us to be together.

I was quite flummoxed this last weekend when I had to endure the Duke and his fiancé at our gathering in honour of my Mother's return. It was obvious, at least to me, that we were both trying to ignore each other as much as possible. I had heard that this was the happy couple's first public outing since their very public engagement. I suppose I shouldn't wonder what that means, because no doubt it means that they are indeed too happy! We had to endure a single dance together which wasn't so much as awkward as dull. No heart of mine should have to be subjected to the antipathy that I now feel for the Duke. Though there are moments late at night when I can't help but think I am hardening my heart because of how much I love him. Can you believe we talked about the weather?! This is the man to whom I bared my inner most thoughts, the man who moulded my dreams to fit like a jigsaw with his.

That is why I am so glad to have the attention of the Head Architect. Selfish or trivial at least my thoughts are kept far and wide from the Duke.

D. S.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my life. There are men that I rely on, that I constantly expect to be there for me without any thought of their actual feelings or what goes on in their lives beyond our dalliances.

I am back in my beloved Shire only to find that my New Year's kiss with the Officer was, yet again, an indiscriminate affair. Only this weekend at the summer fête did I hear from his betrothed that they had been together for the last two years! She was slightly concerned about my feelings, but other than the complete shock all I can think of is my utter reliance on my Officer. That, and how I want to tell this dear naive girl, for she is still so young, that her Officer is not just hers. He never struck me as the type to blatantly lie, hide his feelings or ignore his promises to those whom he has promised his heart.

My darling Ladies are not even around to comfort me, oh how selfish I sound! But I am in a dilemma! Do I destroy her innocence for I would want to know if my fiancé had been unfaithful. Though I know I would come across as bitter and jealous. I am not entirely happy about the relationship, but it is more to do with the fact that I will lose our friendship, for no married man is allowed to be alone in my presence. And that is something that I have kept to these last seven months.

I wish I knew what to do! All this umming and ahhing will lead to nothing and I will just let the relationship run its course, for I guess it has nothing to do with me and, as far as I know, the Officer has been faithful to his engagement for the rest of this year...

In other news, I have been back in the Shire for the last week. It has been a whirlwind of gatherings and picnics as we all catch up with each other. The Marquessa is tempted to go back to her beau but I have been advising her against it; he is not right for her and she does not love him, and she needs to be in a relationship where it has one of those fairy-tale endings. Another relationship has dissolved through, what seems like, every man's inability to be happy with what he has and to constantly have a wondering eye...

My darling Baroness will soon be back from her travels and I cannot wait to see her! It has been far too long and there are always constant giggles and nothing to worry about when I am in her presence. She calms me and manages to be the voice of reason even when I am in one of my rages!

Harlequin too has gone on travels, though every now and again I receive word from him and he tells me of the delights of the Continent. There is a part of me that wishes I were travelling, though my Mother was quite shocked by my appearance when I arrived home. According to her all I needed was to recoup, but she has already disappeared to go and see our Tata over in Eastern Europe, so I am left to my own devices...

Which, I might add have been relatively innocent, considering it's me. The work on the South Wing is nearly completed, but there still has been enough time to flirt with the Head Architect. He is very artistic and passionate about his work. I have watched him as he walks the grounds, his brow furrowing as he concentrates, running his hands through his sandy-coloured hair. I am fortunate that he dines with us as my father is so interested in the various new styles that the South Wing has developed. Though I am more interested in what the Head Architect thinks of me...

I will leave for now, I can hear my father calling me and that might mean I get to spend some time with the Architect and that is an opportunity I do not want to miss!

D. S.

I dare not write about the disturbances to my lifestyle these past few weeks because that would confirm their occurrences, which I doubt I can handle just yet.

So I will keep up you updated with what is to come, the future that expands the gap between now and then. The mere thought of it has me shuddering and closing my eyes, trying to forget.

We are currently packing and clearing the Northern abode to spend the summer season down South in my beloved Shire. Never before have I looked forward to the occasion with such fervour, but please don't think I am running away, there is just so much to anticipate in the next few months that the thought of wasting away in this Northern city that lacks our Southern refinement...

It's true I tend to believe that there is more opportunity wherever I am not, but I hope I am forgiven for as I make these two wonderful counties my home, I cannot help but regard the feeling of homesickness every now and again.

Mother finally got in touch with me; her and Papa went to the end pilgrimage of the Duke and saw the entire proposal and then ended up dining and staying with the happy couple and the Duke's family for a week longer than expected. Apparently Mother thought it was safer not to contact with me from there considering the return address would be the Duke's Cornish home. It startled me to find out that my Mother had more of an inkling than I expected, and although I didn't show it, I was, and am, extremely grateful to her.

Oh how I miss everyone! My darlings in the South, and my Northern beauties who have either disappeared to their various Shires or are spending their time hosting charity events and helping the needy rather than socialising!

How dreadful I must sound! But I'd much rather prance around in a fabulous pair of embroidered shoes and gush about a gorgeous pannier gown than lend a hand in the kitchens or hospitals. Even our current events have lost the sense of socialising for the sake of socialising, but rather we feel we need an excuse, to discuss politics and even raise money in the name of 'charity'. I feel that I am going to regret saying that, but for now let's just let it rest.

Hopefully I will be back in the Shire next time I write, or at least this packing and having everyone underfoot will have ceased!

D. S.

How strange it feels to be in the Northern counties when everyone else has departed on their various vacations. Each of my ladies have travelled far and wide for the summer season, Rosinda even going so far as the New World, I can't tell you how much I am going to miss them all.

I haven't heard from Mother in about a week which is quite strange, I'm hoping that the extension on the South Wing hasn't been hindered whatsoever... Which reminds me, I did have a short postscript from the Marquessa in her last letter that the Head Architect had been asking after me, flattering to say the least, and brought a smile to my face. Hopefully he will still be around when I return in a months time as there will be no one in the Shire to keep me entertained now that the Duke is engaged.

Yes, how dare I even have had a glimmer of hope when the Duke had so set his heart on this new Scottish bride? There was the most elaborate proposal, so I've heard, that as he finished his pilgrimage at Land's End (I'm so grateful that I had a prior engagement that heeded my appearance in the end) the Duke pulled out a ring and declared to his audience that he had been carrying it for the last 800 miles contemplating his love of his new country and the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Of course she said yes, who wouldn't? He has good looks, charm, money that in itself is normally considered enough, but the Duke has class and breeding and a kindness that he brings to every aspect of his life. I know I can no longer fantasise about my life with him as it is never going to happen. I cannot become the other woman in their relationship, though of course the Duke would never even consider so sordid a situation. Yet I know that I would jump at the chance and that makes me doubt myself. I am becoming this unscrupulous woman, someone that I had always deplored yet I cannot deny that I everyday I inch closer to this immoral character.

I no longer want to think about the Duke. Maybe I need a distraction up North, a page boy or a squire, someone relatively insignificant that can fill me in while I wait for the One. Oh dear, I sound as optimistic as my ladies in the Shire. All of whom believe in the clichéd soul mate, whereas I have always scorned such impracticalities and fanciful notions, trusting the sensual cravings of my body and happily giving in to lust. How my reputation would suffer if everyone knew even half as much as what I do get up to. It makes me laugh to think there are those who look up to me... If only they knew.

D. S.