Certainly I am no nun-in-training, they would never allow someone of my pleasing misbehaviour to grace the cloth. And though I teach, it is purely for the love of imparting knowledge, if not befitting of someone of my social status.
Thankfully I have been decidedly refined this past week, and though I am receiving a few unwanted looks, it is nothing I can't handle, and certainly nothing unexpected.
The Captain has kept a steady flow of correspondence my way, though it is I who has been a little bit lax, (I blame the lack of time here at the Convent). And though my feelings for him are not waning, I am trying to be more realistic... Until I have made a decision about my future, and I can guarantee my return to the Antipodes I cannot give either of us false hope.
I have seen no more of my previous amour, which is somewhat disappointing, but it is to be expected if I am gracing the cloisters of hallowed ground.
The brunette has disappeared yet again and I miss her dreadfully, though I shall never forget the times we had together. Belle is keeping refuge in the Convent, a vow of silence has graced her lips so there is nothing I can find out about the why of her whereabouts... She smiles though, and I do not fear that she is in pain nor doing an unnecessary penance.
Speaking of penance, I was walking past the confessional the other day and noticed a familiar looking shield lying next to a bench.... At first I couldn't believe that after all the time he was about to walk back into my life, but there he was, the White Knight.
I'm not sure if too much time has past for us to rekindle the blossoming romance from last year, (I know it's something my Mother would appreciate) but I felt it rather inappropriate to ask while he too tried to atone for his sins. (Of course I can't help but be curious as to what his sins are!)
I received a surprising note from the Brewer a few nights back as well, he seemed - as always - to be in good spirits, but there was a decidedly saucy undertone that I've never felt from him before! It has been far too long since I have seen the Gameskeeper or Brewer, but I'm intrigued to know how our friendships will have fared the time and distance of the last year.
My darling nun has been keeping my spirits up when I've had to cope with the scrutinising look of the priest. My presence is clearly unwanted, and they think my atonement is a farce, another means to gain unnecessary attention... Judgement comes far too easily to some people.
D. S.
Dear Duchess, Wow! What a lovely long post, and so full of intriguing information. I learn so much about a variety of topics every time I read Ur blog! First of all, if that is a picture of the Convent where U teach, it is glorious, absolutely stunning. What a beautiful church Duchess! And this statement: "The Captain has kept a steady flow of correspondence my way" brought a big smile to my face! I know this is what U wanted! To hear from Ur Captain! And he continues 2correspond, surely a very good sign. But I too am familiar with that stinging feel of realism that overcomes one when the thought of distance comes 2mind, not 2speak of huge life-changing decisions. All very difficult, and those thoughts hit us sometimes like a hard rock on-the-head, slinging us 2the ground, forcing us 2feel the earthboundedness of our present reality. I know. Moving on, I have always been a fan of the "saucy undertone" U felt so strongly from the Brewer; always adds a lovely bit of spice 2life, hinting at some UNplanned spontaneous future fun. No? HaHa! U made me giggle with that delightful aside! And I feel forced 2add my thoughts on this, an I-know touchy subject 4many, but I will try 2remain tame, as this is a public blog, I know: "cope with the scrutinising look of the priest. My presence is clearly unwanted". This really angers me on Ur behalf Duchess. Historically, teachers have always been judged harshly by the community in which they teach. (I did tell U I taught upper-level Spanish 17yrs, I think). Teachers have for centuries been expected 2be the holder of all knowledge, perfect, sinless, practically Saintly. Today, we all know this is a ridiculous fantasy. Teachers are humans like everyone else. The belief that teachers shud behave Saintly has dwindled 2nearly zero, in the US, thanks be to God. But 4U 2have 2endure such treatment from a leader of Ur Church is, well, wrong. He shud be happy he has a good teacher teaching at his Convent. I cud go on and on about religion, doctrine, atonement-rituals, in general, but I won't. That's for another post someday! Instead, I will close with Ur closing statement, well-said, well-said; and isn't this what its all about anyway, His Love, leaving any judgement of us, 2 Him, our loving Heavenly Father. He made us Duchess, He knows what we're apt 2do, and I think He laughs sometime, from somewhere up above, on His Throne. He alone sits on that Throne. Your sentiment is correct: "judgement comes far too easily to some people". - Ellen, @bayviewgirl
ReplyDeleteI wanted 2add dear Duchess, I'm afraid my replies 2Ur posts are 2long, and I apologize. If they are 2long, pls advise, and I will purpose 2be more brief. Sorry! -Ellen, @bayviewgirl
ReplyDeleteDearest Duchess,
ReplyDeleteI know it has been a while since I have written and I do apologize. I think that the priest needs to be sent away to a retreat to think about HIS sins, for he is very judgemental and not very charitable. Shame on him.
With Love,
Misha