Thursday, March 05, 2015

Again. A decision was made only to have it blown in the wind by a gentle breeze, scuppering any chances of stability in my life. 

It had been decided by the gods that I was to return to the Shire for the Summer. I had delighted in the fact that I would be able to return home for a good few months and enjoy a countryside lifestyle that I have missed before having to commit to another year as the perfect role model. But it seems the gods are more fickle than I gave them credit for, and now I have another decision to make. 

Brighthelmstone or...

The Shire.

They are both within my grasp and the opportunities are equally astounding, and I am more than delighted to be considered. However, I shall have to go through the pros and cons of each before I ultimately make my decision. 

Brighthelmstone is closer to my heart as I spent the last two summers there, frolicking on the beaches and making friendships, however I may not necessarily have the Duke with me and there will no doubt be fewer returners than last year and it is an enormous responsibility. 

The Shire is my home. I know the paths like the palm of my hand and I haven't spent more than a few weeks there since the Antipodes. Nevertheless, there are some memories of the Convent that I would rather keep under wraps and I would hate for history to repeat itself...

I have already made a decision in my head, but I sometimes worry that I plunge into new situations without spending the necessary time to consider the consequences (twenty year old me, I'm looking at you!).

Fortunately, I have the luxury of time before giving my answer. 

In other news, I have been joined by my Mother. She has been regaling me with tales of her travels yonder and I have to admit I am more than a little jealous. It doesn't seem so long ago that I was calling another country my home and discovering what it meant to live for myself. It is wonderful to see her, of course, but it is only a fleeting visit as she is soon to return to the Continent to visit her own father. 

It's amazing what we put ourselves through for our family.

I have much to ponder, and value the various opinions flying my way; it is interesting to note that the Duke and my Mother are on the same page for this...

D. S. 

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