Saturday, July 31, 2010

Isn't it dreadful that in only a few weeks I can become so infatuated with another person? The most trifle of thoughts and I break out into a silly grin which is so difficult to hide as all I want to do is talk and talk and talk about how happy I am! These last few weeks have been a delight, as the Head Architect and I spend many an evening walking the gardens discussing our hopes and dreams.

There is no doubt that he is ambitious, the South Wing is coming along gloriously and I managed to sneak a glance through the doors just the other day and I can't wait to help Mother pick out the furniture. There is this new designer that I heard of at the last soirée; a George Hepplewhite. It will be a nice variation from the Chippendale that we have used and abused throughout the years.

I received many letters from my lovely ladies who are on their travels, they seem to be having the most delectable time, though I am worried that those who have ventured to the New World may never come home! Although I am intrigued as to what these far away countries are like I cannot imagine never coming home to my Shire. To my Architect.

It is truly dreadful that as I wrote that I giggled. I am not the giggling type and I usually scorn those who fall so easily in and out of... no I cannot say love. It is too soon.

The Officer is being dispatched at some point to the Continent, something to do with the French and Austrians. It is fortunate that I found out as I bumped into his young fiancé. Of course, there was nothing to say about the affair, we were gracious and courteous as ever trading small talk, but I believe I will have to write to the Officer to wish him luck abroad and let him know that he is in my prayers. I would be devastated if his life were taken. And because of this hasty call of duty it seems that my Officer will be wed in the coming weeks. I wonder if I will be invited...

There is more to say about the Duke, but I am pushing him out of my mind. The Head Architect can happily fill any voids in my thoughts.

D. S.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Free at last to update you with the months occurrences. Unfortunately the Shire has been awash with the most abysmal weather so we have had to find refuge indoors, difficult when there are all sorts of workers trying their damnedest (how I love that word, makes me feel quite out of sorts!) to work against the elements.

However, this has meant that I have constantly had the pleasure of the Head Architect's company and there is no doubt in my mind that I have managed to charm him. He is the first eligible suitor I have had in many months and I am unsure as to how to act. He is in great demand from what I can ascertain, many of my contemporaries trying their hand at flirtation in order to capture his attention but even though we spend time alone during the day, at various dinners and balls we dance no more than the obligatory few dances and spend a scarce amount of time talking as we both know there is time enough for us to be together.

I was quite flummoxed this last weekend when I had to endure the Duke and his fiancé at our gathering in honour of my Mother's return. It was obvious, at least to me, that we were both trying to ignore each other as much as possible. I had heard that this was the happy couple's first public outing since their very public engagement. I suppose I shouldn't wonder what that means, because no doubt it means that they are indeed too happy! We had to endure a single dance together which wasn't so much as awkward as dull. No heart of mine should have to be subjected to the antipathy that I now feel for the Duke. Though there are moments late at night when I can't help but think I am hardening my heart because of how much I love him. Can you believe we talked about the weather?! This is the man to whom I bared my inner most thoughts, the man who moulded my dreams to fit like a jigsaw with his.

That is why I am so glad to have the attention of the Head Architect. Selfish or trivial at least my thoughts are kept far and wide from the Duke.

D. S.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my life. There are men that I rely on, that I constantly expect to be there for me without any thought of their actual feelings or what goes on in their lives beyond our dalliances.

I am back in my beloved Shire only to find that my New Year's kiss with the Officer was, yet again, an indiscriminate affair. Only this weekend at the summer fête did I hear from his betrothed that they had been together for the last two years! She was slightly concerned about my feelings, but other than the complete shock all I can think of is my utter reliance on my Officer. That, and how I want to tell this dear naive girl, for she is still so young, that her Officer is not just hers. He never struck me as the type to blatantly lie, hide his feelings or ignore his promises to those whom he has promised his heart.

My darling Ladies are not even around to comfort me, oh how selfish I sound! But I am in a dilemma! Do I destroy her innocence for I would want to know if my fiancé had been unfaithful. Though I know I would come across as bitter and jealous. I am not entirely happy about the relationship, but it is more to do with the fact that I will lose our friendship, for no married man is allowed to be alone in my presence. And that is something that I have kept to these last seven months.

I wish I knew what to do! All this umming and ahhing will lead to nothing and I will just let the relationship run its course, for I guess it has nothing to do with me and, as far as I know, the Officer has been faithful to his engagement for the rest of this year...

In other news, I have been back in the Shire for the last week. It has been a whirlwind of gatherings and picnics as we all catch up with each other. The Marquessa is tempted to go back to her beau but I have been advising her against it; he is not right for her and she does not love him, and she needs to be in a relationship where it has one of those fairy-tale endings. Another relationship has dissolved through, what seems like, every man's inability to be happy with what he has and to constantly have a wondering eye...

My darling Baroness will soon be back from her travels and I cannot wait to see her! It has been far too long and there are always constant giggles and nothing to worry about when I am in her presence. She calms me and manages to be the voice of reason even when I am in one of my rages!

Harlequin too has gone on travels, though every now and again I receive word from him and he tells me of the delights of the Continent. There is a part of me that wishes I were travelling, though my Mother was quite shocked by my appearance when I arrived home. According to her all I needed was to recoup, but she has already disappeared to go and see our Tata over in Eastern Europe, so I am left to my own devices...

Which, I might add have been relatively innocent, considering it's me. The work on the South Wing is nearly completed, but there still has been enough time to flirt with the Head Architect. He is very artistic and passionate about his work. I have watched him as he walks the grounds, his brow furrowing as he concentrates, running his hands through his sandy-coloured hair. I am fortunate that he dines with us as my father is so interested in the various new styles that the South Wing has developed. Though I am more interested in what the Head Architect thinks of me...

I will leave for now, I can hear my father calling me and that might mean I get to spend some time with the Architect and that is an opportunity I do not want to miss!

D. S.