Thursday, November 25, 2010

Many an apology for the lack of correspondence. The weeks have been getting away with me I fear and I doubt that I will remember all that has happened but I shall try my very best!

I have been at home in the North for the last few weeks, appreciating the freedom that comes with living away from Mother and Father, although I do have to admit that as the nights draw longer I wish for simple home comforts. As much as I would like to divulge many a secret affair or scandalous liaisons, since the departing of the Earl of Steel City and his esteemed wife there has been little to cause any disturbances!

Of course I had the pleasure of the Scottish Earl whilst I was in the Shire but my acquaintances with men (other than the Jester) seems to have dwindled since my return up North. A rather depressing thought, especially as I have been socialising with the delightful rowers but it seems that I am not to their taste. Silly of me to have assumed otherwise, I know, but we are all jovial in each other's presence but I do not expect any more to come of it. And it saddens me to think that I am disappointed!

I did have a rather unfortunate run in with him. Not the Duke, (how I long to hear from him, or even just about him!) but he whom can be called none other than the catalyst of my degradation! Did I manage to hold my poise and give scant regard to my beating heart, honestly it is hard to say, for I felt that my heart was pounding in my throat and speaking seemed impossible.

There is no love lost between us, it is only the winter that reminds us of this time last year (or so I have to keep convincing myself). We spoke for barely a few minutes, as we exchanged a nod and a word about the weather. But we both know the connotations of those brief sentences and I dread to think how easy it would be for me to fall back in to his ar...

No.

I daren't even think that suggestion, utter the words, let them seep into my mind. It is pitiful how weak willed I am when it comes to tender moments of the flesh! This year has not been going to plan.

[sig.jpg]

D. S.