Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I can't believe that I succumbed to his ways. After everything that I said to persuade him against this infidelity I still gave in to his demands. Dare I say it's because I love him? Honestly I don't want to think about it anymore than I have to.

Which is all very well to say but I know that word will spread and soon I will have to defend myself against the judgement of those who have stronger willpower than I. I will have to stand up tall and close my heart from the slander that will surround my name and everything I touch. And I
will have to do it alone. He cannot leave her and I don't expect him to leave her for me. That is why I never wanted anything to happen. But how could I refuse? He looked at me with such tenderness, caressed me with the utmost respect; ne'er a thought of the consequences crossed my mind. Not once.

But now as I have snuck home in the early hours of the morn I have the weight of guilt upon my shoulders. However hard I try to condone my actions and convince myself that it is he who is in the wrong, this black shadow of guilt has shrouded my mind and confession seems like the only answer. That or banishment. I cannot be trusted near him, nor he near I. Our friendship that blossomed over these last few months has been poisoned by our fulfilment of lust.

I have become what I once refused to acknowledge, the notorious other woman.

D. S.

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