Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I managed to entertain friends this morning. Tea and cake and some rather scandalous stories. Apparently there is some concern as to the legitimacy of some acquaintances, and possibly some half-siblings running around. The drama that surrounds this certain family is quite astounding, not a month goes by without some sort of 'to do' regarding any member of the family. Yet it is always my friend, the Marquessa, who has to bear the brunt of her family's distressing situations.

It was lovely to see the Marquessa and the Baroness. Considering I have spent the last couple of weeks at home away from the city for the holidays I haven't spent as much time as I normally do w
ith either of them. True the Marquessa has her new relationship to think of and the Baroness' charity work leaves her little time for socialising, but I have missed the general chit chat that normally amuses us this holiday. I wonder if it's partly to do with my own constant worry about this torrid affair, or whether our responsibilities are finally catching up on us.

Speaking of the affair, how I hate to have to be associated with that word, I sent a note containing the Season's Greetings to him. It is nearly the new year and still nothing. I do not know what I hoped, but at the very least a little acknowledgement!

I daren't contact him again, I don't want to arouse any suspicion, but this abandonment is causing havoc with my emotions. I need to know what he is thinking; regret, guilt, love, hate, or nothing. As I stare out of the window at the bleak frosty hills I can't help but think that I need to know before the end of the year so that I can start afresh. Yet I ran away from everyone before this scandalous gossip would have sunk in so I know that I will have to face it in a few weeks. I m
ight not achieve any form of acknowledgement before the end of the year but at least it will be over soon. A few months and it should be forgotten. A few months.






D. S.