Sunday, March 20, 2011

My head hurts. Personally I want to blame Belle for the copious amount of alcohol consumed last night but I don't think she can be held fully responsible... I do have the tendency to get a little carried away!

Had a lovely few evenings with the coxswain and Number 5 this past week. I find the coxswain to be such an inspiration; her disguises are incredible. She has created this exotic character from the East, her costumes are of the most stunning fabrics and colours. I think we are going to spend some time together soon creating my very own Eastern princess façade. I'm looking forward to exploring a darker nature, I want to be able to use this character as my alter ego, an escape from the rituals of society.

I do find it rather disconcerting that I spend more time disguising myself than embracing my heritage, but if it means I get to spend time with those who I really care about then I suppose it is worth it. Even if the musician, someone who I deeply care for, makes all of my effort seem redundant. 

As much as I want to rant about the musician I don't think I have the strength. I know what he means to me and I know where we stand, it's just not always easy. 

I was touched by the suggestion of the Brewer as a love interest. It made me smile and momentarily consider the implication, but I know that I'd be settling for second best. As dear as he is to me there is no comparison to how I feel for the musician.

My other concern involves the Captain and the Foreign Minister who were cavorting at a soiree the other night. I did not know that they were friendly and was a little shocked by this knowledge. There should be nothing to worry about, minus a few mutual interests they have little in common, and I do hope it stays that way! Selfish, this is true, but I'm just trying to protect what I have left of my reputation.

I was, and am, slightly disappointed by the lack of communication from a certain Luthien. I am still greatly intrigued as to who this person is, someone who I'll never kiss, but if it continues to flounder and cease I suppose I'll never know. Nor care.

D. S.