Thursday, August 05, 2010

Why is bumping into the Duke so difficult? An evening of fun and games at the Baroness' and who do we happen to bump into, the Duke. Though he was alone, rather without his bride-to-be and just associating with some gentlemen friends, of mine, I might add. But though I am normally at ease with each of those men I felt out of sorts, as if I wasn't wanted or required. Still trying to figure that out in my head. I'm quite angry at the Duke, especially as he has failed to respond accordingly with a ball of his own after Mother's return. But I know that is not the only reason... I don't have the strength to say it out loud because then it might ring true.

How about we just pause to think about the Architect who has surpassed the Duke in my estimations and just about any other lover or beau in my heart. Yes, I can no longer deny my feelings, and I will happily proclaim them from every rooftop... Once he passes a more physical test! Honestly, I am surprised at myself for the control I have managed to maintain these last few weeks. There have been many opportunities, it just hasn't felt quite right, and I don't just want a fumble in a haystack. I have high hopes for my Architect.




D. S.