Monday, September 02, 2013

What can I say when once again I have forsaken the Shire in the hope of learning more about another culture hundreds of miles away? I do not claim to comprehend all there is to know about my own Shire, my home town, nor even all the rooms of the South Wing ~ but I have that as my foundation, it is my rock and I have all the world to see before I surround myself with familiar walls and listen to the memories of amicable yet unchanging winds.

The Continent has beckoned and I have followed without a second glance of what could have been and what I have left behind. Time waits for no man, and nor do I. The world is my companion, the stars my guiding light, the adventure of the unknown that I crave has overtaken any physical desires. Maybe the Convent did spark an epiphany, it certainly changed my perspective on a few things, but travelling and writing are all that I want at this moment in time.

If one were to ask where I have travelled, my response may cause quite a stir ~ Bohemia and Central Europe. I have never seen countryside quite like it, nor do I know enough of the history to comment on its current politically tumultuous occurrences, al I know is I have a new home, and a new life to start. 

Of course new beginnings bring fond memories of the Antipodes and the young Captain whom I think of often, and even my longer acquaintance with the blonde Esquire... Here I am looking for no man, only peace and tranquillity that comes with a lack of the presence of testosterone and berating, pawing men.

Why are they never happy until they have consumed you and claimed you for their own? As flattering as it is to be wanted by a man, I shall choose and make my own decisions about whom I want. And if he does not want me, then that is a challenge I shall accept, as would be the rejection, should it follow.

Most men I have met do not seem to understand, or even comprehend the idea that they may not be wanted. It is the greatest flaw of the supposed greater sex. Their egos blind them and they view women as nothing more than a trophy.

I do not want saving. I do not want to be cherished. I want to be allowed to travel the world, I want someone who will dare me to climb the tallest tree and laugh at my failures. I do not want to be coddled and put on display like some dumb animal. I have a voice and I have never been afraid to use it, but men... How often they have tried to silence my thoughts and stake a claim that was never theirs to begin with.

No doubt it is easy to tell that I am somewhat infuriated and there is nothing particularly specific to render any blame. My writing as of late has been scarce and I am putting blame on my ability to get distracted by men. Here I am without men, without anyone, and I am writing more than I have for months.

Maybe I am my greatest downfall, I know how easily I give in to temptation, but I feel at peace knowing I am free of all men. I am my own person.

Sometimes, all I'd like, is to meet someone who wants me to be my own person.





D. S.