Saturday, February 19, 2011

Minus last night's altercation with the musician this week was lovely. And I don't think I have anyone to blame but myself for last night.

Spent hours with the Gameskeeper hearing about his love interest, covered for the coxswain so that she could spend time with her own lover, received a letter from the Duke of all people and even had a surprise visit from the Squire who has been out of my life for quite a while!

Of course I need to talk about the Duke first as he has been the most important person in my life for the last few years and I am happy to tell you that the letter filled me with hope! He has arrived in the South of France and is staying in Carcassonne, which he says is gorgeous and filled with history. There is no hint of regret that I am not with him, he only wants me to feel at ease. Apparently. Though I believe he is trying to prove a point by showing me what I am missing.

He says he will keep me updated with his travels and that I am free to join him at any time, but of course the further East he goes the harder it will be. I understand the time limit, he is wealthy and handsome, and it won't be long until he acquires a more willing mistress. Even after last night I am still sure that I made the right decision. I refuse to be second best and that is something I need to learn with the musician.

Last night is difficult to explain, I am far too stubborn and expect far too much that I should just leave it at that. My bruised leg and hand are big enough reminders, for now, at least.

The reintroduction of the Squire on the other hand has been a welcome break from the tedium of fawning over the musician. (I know I said it was something I would never do, but sometimes I just can't help myself). He is sweet and it is relaxing not to have to do anything to make him want me; the perfect distraction really.

Talking of distractions, the coxswain has spent a lot of time with me considering I was more than happy just to be a cover for her illicit relationship! But we have quite a lot in common and enjoy spending time together, which works rather well considering I know the rowers! I should be going to support them today but after last night I can't bring myself to leave my room. Pathetic, agreed, but I don't particularly care.

Compared to January, February seems to be dragging on. Surprising considering the shortness of the month, but I am thinking about my beloved Shire and how I would like to visit home. I must write to Mother.

D. S.