Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Darlings I did something terribly irresponsible, highly dangerous, and unbelievably breathtaking today...


I jumped off a waterfall into the blue depths beneath, fully clothed on the whim of my darling brunette who has somehow sneaked back into my life. Is she replacing the void that the young Captain has left? I do not know, but I welcomed her back with open arms, and as of yet, I do not think this was a mistake.




The waterfall was a gorgeous colour of blue, the water ice-cold despite the warmth of the sun beating on my bare skin, and only moments later my olive-skinned brunette dove in after me. The more time I spend in the Antipodes the more I fall in love with it, just as the more time I spent with the young Captain, the more I fell in love with him...


Christmas day was spent with family, and eventually we watched the sunset over the sea, which of course reminded me of the young Captain... Again and again I have to remind myself that our relationship is over and though I pine for him daily there is nothing I can do. 


Even the Christmas letterling of good tiding wasn't enough to pacify my longing for him. I want to see him, to hold him, to gain back his trust and call him my own after that flirtatious altercation... Is that really too much to ask for at this time of year?


Apparently so, because I haven't the strength to send him a note asking him how he is... Or rather I haven't the strength to deal with his rejection once again, there are only so many times one can be ignored. The musician proved that often enough.


Do I sound bitter? I don't want to, especially when I've had the most wonderful few days! The brunette is keeping her distance, friendship is all that seems to be on her mind, though I don't completely trust her. But it is good to have her back, she reminds me of the Shire and the Northern counties that I have left behind... Though six months more and I shall once again set foot on English soil. 


I wonder if I will have won my young Captain back by then? Who knows what the New Year will bring...


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D. S.