Sunday, June 16, 2013

To say that I have been somewhat distracted of late is more of an understatement than I care to let leave my lips. I shall not apologise nor make false promises of never leaving you again - the inevitable end shall only be postponed - but it is not this day.

Where to begin?

My dearest Misha had previously questioned my wavering fidelity to the blonde Esquire what with his determined patriotism to Queen and country. I cannot utter the words I'm sure many of you are longing to hear - I cannot tell you that we are still sickeningly content, rolling around in the bed sheets, moaning with an intoxicating pleasure, for it is no longer true.

The blonde Esquire and I have parted ways. His time was never actually his to call his own, and though I made a promise to try - and try I did - I cannot tolerate coming second to an entire regiment. Nor the King. Nor the country. If someone loves me, they have to put me first, and that was an argument I was never going to win.

I have accepted the termination of my relationship with the blonde Esquire - at least his Mother can no longer plague my life - after all, it was originally based on a lie.

What next?

The summer is nigh and I have had correspondence from Belle that she plans to attend a Convent again this summer, but this time she wants to venture away from the Shire and travel towards the Capital. I have yet to give her my answer, though I know that my season is coming to an end. The Duke's sister has gone on her own Grande Tour of the Continent and I know the brunette is exploring her more Sapphic tendencies in the Eastern world.

I too need a change of scenery.

The seaside beckons. I ventured to the pebbled beaches on the Southern Coast a few weeks back and fell head over heels in love with the sights, smells and sounds of the sea. It hasn't the grandeur of the Antipodes, but there is nothing so quaint as the English seaside.

While gallivanting at the breaking waves I had the utmost desire to strip off all my clothes and delve into the Channel. It would have caused such a ruckus, and no doubt I'd have startled the many bystanders, but I have a craving to do something wild now that I'm free and have regained my independence.

There was one other reason than societal convention that I kept my dress on that day; I would have been witnessed by a tall, dark haired spectator. One who seemed able to read my indecent thoughts, and gave me a daring stare. I was quite caught off guard and knew not how to respond. Thankfully I saw sense to keep my clothes on! I would not want a repeat of Iberia two years ago!

But for now I shall enjoy the time I have on my own - sometimes there is nothing more that I want than to be alone - and make my 'grown up' decisions when I believe the time to be necessary.



D. S.