Wednesday, January 11, 2012

After barely mentioning the young Captain last post, I feel I could write reams about how much I miss him and how hard I have tried to ignore the ache in my chest as I spend time with the olive-skinned brunette or the new gentleman.

The young Captain has contacted me again.

Of course this removed all thoughts of Irish widowers and younger suitors from my mind, and though I am supposed to be seeing the new suitor tonight I may have to cancel as my heart is once again all aflutter. Should I feel guilty for leading the poor gentleman on? Possibly... But who can truly control their emotions? And I have never denied how I felt about the young Captain, I just thought it was over for good.

His note however, screams of optimism... 

This is the first time he has asked for my forgiveness and I know already I want to give it without a second thought, but out of the corner of my eye I can see the brunette shaking her head ever so slightly, wary of my eager reply. And this of course is causing a slight hesitation.

I shall forgive him, in my heart of hearts I was never angry with him, only at myself. But I may take a few days to let him know... He has made me wait over a month to forgive me after all!

My latest dilemma is how to let down the latest gentleman. He is a sweetheart and truly kind, but the thought of him doesn't tug at my emotions nor set my blood pumping. I do feel guilt at this predicament, and I will do my best to let him down gently, but it's the Captain! How can I ignore him, even after all this time?


D. S.