Thursday, March 01, 2012

I think I may have paid the price for putting the English gentleman to the test. For two days he did ignore me, nothing did I hear, not a single word. However he did redeem himself slightly by paying me an impromptu visit and dazzling me with his smile. 

Where this relationship is going I have yet to determine. The English gentleman blows hot and cold and I hate not knowing where I stand with him. But before I give in to his caresses and acquiesce to my body's desires I have to establish certain boundaries. The two of us have similar tendencies towards relationships. There is no point in starting something if it doesn't have a future. Fortunately we are both from the Isles and are returning home at similar times, however, how can I justify my longing for someone I've only known for a few weeks?

Some rather alarming news has been heard through the grapevine about a certain Captain who I'd prefer not to talk about... Nevertheless, it seems that he has found a new lover already (I cannot count nor compare my liaisons when nothing physical or emotional has happened... yet) and although I feel a pang of jealousy, it's more of a sadness. I truly have lost my chance.

The explorer has kept his distance since we met last week and though I thought we matched quite well with out arrogant personalities I feel I may have to be the one to instigate a further friendship. There must be something wrong with me that I find arrogance and ambition so attractive, but I cannot resist either trait. They are more of an aphrodisiac than the most chocolate covered strawberry...
I had a wonderful letter from the Gameskeeper this morning and I miss him more than I care to admit. He is an absolute darling and I truly wish he would return to the Antipodes for a few more nights of debauchery. Armiger too sent his love and I hope that he has the most wonderful birthday tomorrow and knows how much I wish I could be with him. I could not ask for better friends, and though I love living in the Southern hemisphere, it is those lifelong friendships that I miss more than anything. 

Not long now. Only three months to go!

D. S.