Sunday, March 25, 2012

What does love mean to you?

I used to think it was a passionate, all consuming fire that sparked when you found 'the one'. Where being in love made it impossible to think of anyone else and you were constantly longing for their touch. That's what I thought love should be. That's what I've been searching for.

But what if I was wrong? What if the love that I'm searching for is a more comfortable, more relaxed feeling? Love that feels like coming home not an adventure; as if I've reached the destination not still traipsing along on an unknown journey....

The English gentleman ignites a passion in the bedroom but I do not long for him the same way I did for the Captain. I know I am not in love with the English gentleman, yet if I do fall for him I still think that the love I'd feel for him would be of the latter comprehension. The passion wouldn't diminish I can guarantee that much, but I already feel like I've been with him my whole life. It sounds silly but the English gentleman completes me in a way that I never thought needed completion. I am content, I am happy... I just hope it lasts so that I can truly admit to these feelings. 

I have spent a lot of time with my family and talking to my darlings in the Shire. I miss Armiger more than I care to admit and Belle too. There is not too long to wait until I return home, only two and a half months, but still every now and again that pang for home sits on my chest. 

But until then I have the English gentleman, he is my home away from home. And I shall miss him as I travel South tomorrow for my own adventure... Even the brunette was surprised at my commitment to my time alone, but I am young and free... As free as I want to be and though I care for the English gentleman I value my independence more. 


D. S.