Saturday, March 10, 2012

I talk about falling in and out of love as if I know what that means. I've fallen in lust more times than I can count and it's often difficult to discern one from the other... 

When it came to the Duke I was so young. I hadn't any experience of men and how they could make me feel. It was an innocent love that sparked and took years to dissipate but my most recent interests have been soul-consuming in slightly different ways. 

The musician and the Head Architect both meant a lot to me; the former still plays in my mind when I think of the Northern county and the fun I had with him, the Gameskeeper, Belle and the Brewer. However, I believe that because I had to fight to try and win him over so many times I continued fighting for him long after I should have...

More so, since I have moved to the Antipodes, has my heart been startled into caring for unsuitable lovers. The Captain's age and stature was not befitting for someone like me, a Duchess. He was undeniably adept at courting me and I do think any future companion of his will be incredibly fortunate. But I cannot begin to imagine that jealousy. He has flitted through my mind long enough and I appreciate more than ever that the English gentleman has jumped to attention and has come to his senses. 

We shared a series of frustrated words a few days ago, but more than anything it was to do with our ever-increasing want for each other. Though the nights without him were long and lonely it was worth the wait. We strolled across the beach hand in hand as if nothing had crossed us, a silent smirk mirrored across our faces as the waves lapped at our feet. A caress across my cheek as the English gentleman moved a strand of hair behind my ear was enough to set my passions on fire. I could barely control myself when he began kissing my neck and it was all we could do to make it back to his abode.

I cannot deny that I have had a smile on my face for the whole day and I am now counting down the hours until I get to see him again. Yet there have been a few niggling doubts as to whether time between the sheets was the most appropriate way to begin this new relationship, all over again. 

Who knows. I am constantly making mistakes... So much so that I took the liberty of stealing a kiss from the brunette the other night and caused quite the confrontation with her current beau. I forget about acceptable behaviour on this side of the world. I am so used to my Shire ladies and gentleman knowing and expecting imprudent behaviour from me, and it is no secret in the North that I am fond of partying until the wee hours of the morn.  But the Antipodes still has that old-fashioned, quaint naivety that I remember from years passed... I'll try and behave... But then again, why start now?

D. S.