Monday, July 09, 2012

I have returned to the Convent and already I feel that I have too many regrets in my life.

Normally I love to live life to the full and take on any misdemeanours as an adventurous experience, however the judgement that I have to cope with from the priets here is rather difficult. I know I have come to atone for my sins, but the guilt I feel for some of the antics from last summer is somewhat crushing and I dread to think the hours I will have to spend on my knees praying for forgiveness.

It was wonderful to see the nun, she hasn't changed at all and we laughed (probably more than we should have while in a Convent) at the year that has passed.

A complete surprise was the appearance of a dear friend from up North... Her dark curly hair was instantly recognisable, but I could hardly comprehend as to why Belle was in a Convent! Obviously it was an absolute pleasure to see her, but we haven't had the time alone together to talk about why she isn't up North (and with the Gameskeeper).

Talking of lover's, my darling Captain has sent me a letter keeping in touch with a lot more ease than the previous month. He repeats how much he misses me, how the beaches that we used to spend gorgeous evenings together remind him of me, and that he is to begin some travels.

I miss him so much, I want him to visit but I can't expect a nineteen-year old to journey to the otherside of the world... Can I?

Another surprise visit was from the brunette! I had no idea she was returning to the green lands of England, but of course it was a delight to spend time with her. She is not here for long though, and we have already parted ways. Unfortunately she was not interested enough to join the Convent, (and honestly I don't really blame her) but of course seeing her reminded me of the Captain...

My previous amour has kept in contact since the other night and though I am longing to give in to my desires I may have to wait until after my time at the Convent. This is definitely not how I want to spend the rest of my life.

D. S.