Sunday, September 02, 2012

How much I have accomplished in the short three months I have been home in the Shire! Travelling to the Northern county and the City of Dreaming Spires several times distracted my heart somewhat from the longing to do something more with my life. But my time at the Convent gave me time to reflect on my past and how I want to shape my future.

I do feel that tomorrow, as I begin to take my role as Patroness seriously, I shall be taking a step towards that future. I cannot deny the apprehension that I feel as I write, curled up in my bed, but it is a daunting thought that the rest of my life is just waiting for me to wake up!

I have truly enjoyed my last few days of freedom. The Marquessa and Baroness have kept me entertained after Armiger's departure back to his home country of France, and my previous paramour has strayed closer to my peripheral than usual... An echo of tantalising memories have been awoken, but I do not want to do anything that would provoke my dear Captain.

Ah yes, I have not forgotten him, but my foreseeable future is to wait the time and distance, so a dose of reality will not hurt either of us. We still write to each other daily; his letters cause a great fluttering inside me, my pupils dilating at the words inked on to the parchment, in fear that anyone else should read the private intimacies! But although the wait shall be long, we seem to have figured out how to keep our love alive...

Adieu for now, I need an early night before the pressures of responsibilities start to gather pace as of tomorrow. But I shall not be gone for long dear-heart, I could never abandon my writings, no matter what the world threw at me. Goodbye the Summer of my youth, and I welcome the gruelling winter of reality.

D. S.