Friday, January 30, 2015

Why is it that when I think I've made a decision to not make a decision and allow myself to drift along, the world then rears its head and illuminates the path it had already chosen for me long before I'd even thought about making a decision?

I'm not sure if that previous sentence made sense, but I shall elaborate.

Last time I wrote I had had a long hard look in the mirror, noticed the bags under my eyes from fretting about the future, and decided that the laughter lines that echoed on my skin had every right to be there. My life would be wonderful no matter which direction I chose, and I should just enjoy the moment and handle what life throws at me when it comes rather than planning years into the future. 

And seemingly life already had a plan. Thanks to the Coxswain, who has been more than a friend ~ both a guide and mentor ~ I have had some interest from the Capital, specifically the Garden of England, where an opportunity has arisen. I received a letter (thankfully not in the same manner as the other life-altering letter!) requesting my presence to see if I am worthy for a position of great esteem. I cannot say any more at the moment, nor do I want to prattle on as I'm afraid I will then give away my nerves. 

I am just as flattered as I was when I heard about the position of Lady-in-Waiting, though this time I think I may even be more apprehensive. I cannot deny that I want the position but the stakes are higher than ever! The Duke cannot keep following me around the world, and there have been talks about whether or not he will return to Bohemia after this Summer!

This is what I mean about life already having a plan for me... I decide not to take any action and hurry my travels despite my longing to see somewhere new and already the world has come a-knocking, asking for me to make my mark. I am looking forward to my journey south and hope to see Armiger and some other friends both before and after this prestigious interview (I may as well make the most of my time in the Capital) and also I will need some distraction if I am told I am unsuitable for the position. 

I have to admit that I am rather proud of myself, but am very aware of the gods' love of hubris and don't want to fall into a cycle of catharsis. I shall go and make the most of my time down south and will let you all know how I fare. 

Wish me luck!

D. S.

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