Sunday, May 13, 2012

A week has scuttled by and it is quite disconcerting to think that my time in the Antipodes feels most fleeting. If it weren't for the dropping temperature I wouldn't want to leave this country at all, but I cannot abide Winter. A Summer season in the Shire is what I need after the nights begin to lengthen in the Southern hemisphere.

I truly was going to write sooner, three days ago in fact. But that would have been in the heat of the moment, and I would have said some hateful words about one whom I care about so deeply. No longer angry, I feel I can speak more plainly, more objectively about what happened a few nights ago.

After my night with yet another nameless paramour the Captain dared to judge me when our paths crossed again. I even had said paramour with me, so the situation was most uncomfortable. But what hurt the most was the Captain's look which chastised me for my behaviour, behaviour that he had encouraged only a few nights before.

At first I was furious; he was the one who told me to look in any other direction but his, even after his proclamation of love. But then I realised that his jealousy showed that he still cared. How I can doubt myself and him after all this time I don't know, but it is reassuring to know that what we had, for that short time, was real.

Three weeks to go until I can call the Shire my home again. The explorer has been more than entertaining, the brunette an absolute darling and all my friends on this side of the world mean the world to me. 

Of course I have some delightful excursions to look forward to with the Gameskeeper, Belle, the Court Jester back on my home shores, even the Scottish laird has kept in touch with a few words of correspondence, and I can't wait to see my Mother again. I don't know how she is faring after the death of her Mother, my darling Nana...

But saying goodbye... I've done it enough times in my life, but at least this time I know it isn't forever. 

D. S.