I have not had the chance to recover from my travels in Iberia, not a moment has gone by without entertaining and being surrounded by dear friends, which I normally love, but I have been stressing slightly what with all that needs to be done before I leave. Right now is the first available chance I've had alone, and still my priorities are slightly askew for there is much to be done, but I need this moment to sit and think, to recollect, to reminisce.
My nude altercation the other week gave me a little insight, I think, for although embarrassing, I was not ashamed of my body, and it was almost liberating to have nothing to hide behind! I guess I'm a little apprehensive about moving home and the constraints I'm going to be put under... Father's meeting with his half-sister couldn't have gone better, but I know Mother isn't the exactly enamoured by the entire scandal, and I just hope they realise that family need to stick together through anything. It isn't right when I feel more grown-up than my parents!
I'm surrounded by travelling trunks and I know that I still have so much to do, but I cannot gather the energy, not when every item I pack brings be that much closer to leaving the North! The last few days have sapped me of the little ardour I had left, but there wasn't a chance I'd have wished anything else. I was able to say my goodbyes, and even managed to show my cousin round my favourite haunts.
I shall be spending the Summer season in close proximity to the Scottish Earl, and I have my fingers crossed that the Head Architect will still have his commission down in Brighton. I know I shall enjoy myself with my dear ladies in the Shire, I believe we shall be gracing Bath with our presence, but as much as I'll love every minute of it, there is no returning to the North.
No Brewer to make me laugh, no musician to confuse all me senses, no Gameskeeper to listen to my drivel.... Belle shall not be around to console my heartache, the Duchess of Tuthershire and I will share no more bottles of red wine under the light of the moon. I won't be staying up til the wee hours of the morn with the Court Jester talking about nothing in particular. Rowing will become a distant memory, and no more shall I take personal joy in their accomplishments and medals won!
Each and every one of my darling friends shall be moving on from the past three years, relationships and friendships forged over the most trivial of matters only to give me hope and strength, and cherish every moment we had together... The good and the bad.
Change is not a bad thing, I abhor monotony, but I've been so happy here in the North that to say goodbye does taint the future with sadness. Until we meet again, au revoir.